#one of the most insane parts of the game. possibly THE most tbh bc it's just so. hypocritical.....like. it's so jarring | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eurydicees · 2 months ago

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actually i'm not done talking about this panel. the way isagi sorts geniuses vs learners is SO INTERESTING.

in my last post about this, i talked about how "the geniuses he names (reo, nagi, barou) are the ones who have lost and sacrificed and suffered the most. the ones he categorizes as learners are the people who have been able to compete, and change." which is fr driving me up the fucking walls. look under the cut to see me trying to work through my thoughts on this lol

first we have barou, who truly has insane physical abilities. he has an innate physicality that just happens makes him good at soccer. so sure, he can put in the category of genius. and so looking at his journey through blue lock, he's one of the ones who really has been least capable of keeping up with the others' change. sure, he's good at soccer. but he is TERRIBLE at the start of the 2nd selection in the team w isagi and nagi. he is forced into changing when playing with them, but he's also like. broken down and rebuilt in order to get there. he has to stop relying on that physicality.

so isagi looks at him as a genius in his truly very unreliable narration. he has physical ability he was born with--but he hasn't previously been able to keep up with change. honestly in addition to all that, i think isagi puts him in this category because he looks at barou as someone that HE himself discovered as the "learner", due to everything in the 2nd selection.

and we have nagi. which. yeah. nagi has crazy physical ability despite his very little dedicated training prior to this. but as we move into the 2nd selection and then then NEL, nagi needs to stop relying on that gifted ability, and the long balls and passes that cater to it. his arc in stopping relying on reo is VITAL to that.

nagi is someone who sacrifices everything he cares deeply about (reo) and loses sight of everything he had wanted (reo's dream) in order to become something new. by the time reo goes "let me be a part of YOUR dream to become the best" nagi has lost everything. he's kinda learned a passion for soccer, but, oh the cost of that.

his regaining his on AND off field relationship w reo is, imo, an indicator that he is beginning to understand that he needs to stop relying on being a "genius." we see this a little in brief snippets the manshine games. also, his "let's try something new" with reo makes me crazy and i'm so excited to see that.

anyways. isagi putting him in this category is kind of a rude dismissal of all that development imo. but it makes sense, too, since isagi only sees nagi as accomplished rather than understanding his sacrifices to move forward. isagi has been growing so much throughout these selections, but his biggest loss was bachira in the 2nd selection. and he never faltered in his belief that he would soon get him back. nagi didn't really have that after reo rejected him.

so nagi is a genius: he's given up everything to keep that. his need to become something more is, like. his entire arc. but isagi doesn't see that last part, he only sees the talent that nagi's been gifted with. so his categorization here is...true, but a little superficial. which i hope isagi begins to see in the future, as his understanding of this dynamic evolves.

then we have reo "i've only been playing soccer six months but im crazy skilled and also certifiably crazy in general" mikage. but reo is also in the last team to pass the 2nd selection. reo loses EVERYTHING (nagi, his confidence, his trust) in the process of getting to this point.

reo is also put in the genius category possibly because he's not actually that great at responding to loss (ex his reaction to losing in the 2nd selection; "be the one that chooses not the one that gets chosen").

but that all being said, more on reo: it's really interesting to me that isagi looks at reo as a genius, bc tbh i wouldn't put him there. personally i would classify him as a "learner", because he's the one who discovered nagi--the "learner" partnering to nagi's "genius"--and also because, yk. his skill is literally copying other people.

but this coming from isagi's POV, ig it does kind of make sense? isagi doesn't understand reo's journey here. he only sees that reo has skill after six months (though reo's training in those six months was kinda deranged); he doesn't see what reo is giving up in order to get it. idk but reo's place here is super interesting and i'm not quite sure what to make of it.

the next part of the panel, with bachira-chigiri-kunigami is also truly making me crawl up the walls and over the ceiling. in contrast to the geniuses, these guys are the ones who "admire and challenge."

these are the people isagi started with, the people the isagi trusts because of that experience in the 1st selection. they've challenged him from the start, and were the original ones forcing him to grow and bring his own skill to realization.

isagi admires them, finds that they challenge him individually and as teammates in team z, but he also doesn't see their skill as impossible to obtain. i think he kinda sees them as people he can hold his own with based on his abilities, as opposed to people like nagi or barou, who he has to counter using teamwork and/or very reactionary methods. he has to fight geniuses by finding innovative strategies versus the people who are his teammates, who he can compete with and grow with rather than against and contrary to.

it's like. the competition between bachira-chigiri-kunigami is built out of an admiration for their skills and a challenge to himself to improve his own skills in their areas of expertise. his rivalries with those guys are stepping stones to his development, sure but they're also rivalries that isagi believes he can compete with without destroying himself.

his rivalries with the guys he classifies as geniuses are more like...rivalries he has to unmake and remake himself in order to even begin to compete. they aren't challenges or competition that isagi is on par with.

but that also feels like an extreme disservice to the people he sees geniuses. he looks at their innate physical weapons and thus believes they've already been discovered and thus have reached the peak of their talent. the learners are still challenginng themselves.

personally, i don't think that's really true. i think all three of those genius characters have a long ways to go still. the "learners"'s egos are honed in the challenges of the fights they seek out, isagi says. but i think he doesn't recognize that the "geniuses"'s egos are honed in the sacrifices they make in those challenges/fights. the "learners" will learn from what they gain in a challenge; "geniuses" will have to learn to grow from what they give up in those challenges. which is just as significant, if not more motivating.

and i don't think isagi is going to be able to defeat any of them until he realizes that aspect of the genius versus learners debate. and tbh. i think ego needs to realize that too.

idk. this is super undeveloped, it's just me working through my thoughts on this specific panel. oh im so late for work jesus christ.

#bllk liveblog #bllk chp 282 #blue lock #blue lock manga #blue lock manga spoilers #blue lock spoilers #yoichi isagi #shouhei barou #seishiro nagi #reo mikage

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enbyjjunie · 2 months ago

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DKB as where they prefer to cum

not requested

this is just my thoughts on the matter and it's okay if you disagree, this is just fiction. i'm not saying this is how dkb is and this post should not be taken seriously this was worked on in two separate dms so thanks to my fave yuku girl for asking about the topic and @starryjiung for always wanting to listen to me yap and elaborate on my thoughts

if you like this, please consider sharing

NSFW UNDER THE CUT !!! don't proceed if you don't want to read filth

이찬 changmin would probably like to cum on his partner's stomach. he likes the idea of his cum marking them like that and the thought of "if that was inside, it would've gone that far" can also drive him a little insane. changmin's pull-out game is pretty strong imo, which is why i think he could shoot exactly where he'd want to.

디원 dongil is someone i could see wanting to shoot his cum into his partner's mouth. it's part seeing them look up at him in anticipation to get a mouthful and part knowing that they're gonna take every single drop that he's giving them, even better if they swallow. that being said, he'd find it incredibly erotic if his cum would drip down their mouth bc they couldn't take all of it.

지케이 gwanghyun is someone who'd cum inside, but not like junseo would, but more because he wouldn't wanna pull out and away from his partner, since he'd feel that would ruin the intimate energy going on. he'd be someone to hold the person he's with as he cums and just wanna stay in their hold until they both come down from their orgasms.

희찬 heechan fucking loves cumming on his partner's back. i have an idea that he really likes doggy style and pulling out and painting his partner's back in his white shots is hot to him. although, unlike changmin, heechan's pull-out game is not good. his orgasm always seem to catch him off guard. he gets lost in the pleasure and so it takes him a second to react and he most likely has already cum a little inside when he pulls out to shoot on the person's back.

룬 sungmin, i have this idea that he would love to cum on hands. like having been given a handjob to get him to his orgasm, and there's something beautiful to him about watching his thick cum slowly roll down his partner's fingers, and being handled with care in their literally capable hands is just something he loves (man loves being doted on, no surprise).

준서 junseo... there's a reason i mentioned earlier that he's an inside man too but he's one in a way where he likes the idea of impregnating his partner. he'd push himself really deep inside them when he feels himself cumming and hold them tightly, wanting them as close as possible during that moment. he'd do what he can to have his partner cum at the same time as him, loving the feeling of being clenched around.

유쿠 yuku loves cumming on his partner's face. he loves to paint their face with his cum and kiss them afterwards, feeling his own release against him where he touches them. if he's feeling particular pathetic and subby, i can imagine that he'd even take the time to lick it off himself, cleaning his his own mess up with his own tongue.

해리준 harry would pull out just so that his tip is left inside his partner and cum like that. he would love to pull out and watch as his seed gushes out of them, would sometimes make him hard again and then he'd fuck his cum back inside. something about watching his cum slowly seep out in globs would make him dizzy and feral.

masterlist tip jar

a/n: hey everyone, i know i haven't really gotten any further with kinktober and i apologize. it's gonna be a slow uploading speed i fear. i got hit with a bunch of stress and bad life circumstances and have been struggling tbh. i'll try my best to get things written and published but you're gonna have to be very patient with me lmao

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memuntos · 5 months ago

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SHIPPING INFO — ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSE(S).

WHAT'S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSES(S)?

considering that a good chunk of my muses are literally insane or (holds knife to your throat) type muses, i don't have a big list of otps. but most of my muses that do have canon counterparts for i would sell my soul for and those include: genya / david, jude / cardan, rosalind / orion, alice / jasper, yor / loid, kate / anthony, veronica / jd (in the worst way possible tbh)

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?

honestly most things. i don't do large age gaps and i don't do pregnancy plots for the most part. in general, i don't write ships often because romance isn't my go-to genre but there are quite a few things i love exploring. i love the pain of heartbreak and trope of right person, wrong time. yearning and angst are my bread and butter when it comes to ships so however that can be achieved i'm game. i am more than happy to explore a wildly unhealthy ship but am only willing to do that with really close friends. i hate when people romanticize toxic relationships but i do think they can be written with nuance and awareness. i actually love a good fight, a lovers spat. i love the hard and messy parts of a relationship, i love couples getting through the messy parts of a relationship and coming out stronger. love takes a lot of work and i think we need to realize that more as a community and society tbh. i'm also a sucker for either ends of the spectrum of a relationship, meaning the very beginning with butterflies, first dates, confessions not said, etc. and married, domestic life. the stable in between period of a couple doesn't do much for me unless they're just as much friends as they are lovers.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

i'm not a big age gap girly especially considering the age of most of my muses and how i believe age directly correlates with maturity and life stages in most cases. so i get uncomfortable pretty quickly with an age gap. with muses that are minors it would have to be within a year or two at most. older than 18, looking at maybe 4 ish years max. i don't have enough 30+ muses but when the muse is above 30 i'm willing to go to about 6-7 years older. immortals are obv the exception.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

very lol. if i'm real honest, i'm open to shipping only if we've comfortably talked ooc. there are a few rare times when i see someone and i'm itching to hit them up for a ship because i think our writing styles would vibe well, but due to previous experiences, i do like to establish a bit of an ooc connection. this truly could just be rotting about our muses together or plotting and screaming a little. so any of the people who have me on discord and we've plotted about multiple muses are fair game to hit me up to ship bc i will definitely be too awkward to hit you up ahahahah

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY'RE CONSIDERED NSFW?

i'm not really a steamy writer so two muses making out is likely as far as i'll go. i love tension and palpable tension between two muses but physical touching won't go far in a thread with me just for my own comfort levels!!

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE(S) WITH?

there's only a few that come to mind off the top of my head but i love a good random ship tbh whether canon or oc. canon wise the only ones i can think of off the bat are genya / alina, johanna / katniss, velma / daphne, ty lee / sokka.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

yes please because i will not get the hint, i hope you know that <3 besides naturally flirty muses, i will never default to anything shippy so you really do have to let me know even if we’re besties i will not catch what you are putting down

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?

yes!! all my ships will exist in different universes and/or timelines.

ARE YOU SHIP - OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE - OR - LESS?

ship more - or - less for sure. once we get a ship going though they live in my head rent free. i’ll send you stupid musings about them and will scream at you, but romantic ships usually aren’t my go-to dynamic.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM(S) ?

literally the same answer as above tbh. with ocs though special shoutout to noemi / fallon, chija / tyl, aklla / allie, estelle / harriet, som / kit. aka literally all my oc ships i think 🤭

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

look me in the eyes, hold my hand, and tell me you have a proposal to make 👉👈

tagging : anyone who hasn’t done this and sees it !

#･ﾟ✧ ooc ₀ … misc #tyty macy this was fun to do but actually required so much thought help AHDJDJ #the canon otps are all so straight im crying this tells you so much about canon couples in media 💀

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ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa · 1 year ago

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me when people are hating on Ouma's actions in game like. I just support him, actually

Ves: REAL she looked good doing it

if it were me I would get more crazy for a lot more selfish reasons, and I would punch Kaito back sooner, good for him for keeping his eyes on the goal

fr fr, look at him in the closing argument, that's my babygirl

Ves: the closing argument artist thinks so too

he did not have to go that hard but HE DID IT FOR ALL OF US. A HERO

haters will act like he's irrational, but he stuck out so long with no support system since he couldn't trust anyone and managed to play things off even when he was finally starting to lose his shit in a situation when it was reasonable for him to feel like this (tbh even fans make him often crack way more easily to make shipping content, when he's so resilient and then on the other hand not really lone wolfing it either bc he cooperated as much as he could) his way of going about things was smart, there isn't much else he could do, Tsumugi was setting up others to distrust him as well

Ves: AAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!! he did he lasted so fucking long in the worst possible situation he tried so HARD to cooperate and it just. did not work. if i think abt how quickly his plans fell apart i will explode i'd b doing so much worse in his situation

sometimes it's just like, you're talking about paranoia? trust and attachment issues? untreated mental illness? I think we have to be introduced, there's so much I could show you. I am not saying he doesn't have anything of the sort, but there's a lot more of reasonable justified distrust there, and still, it could be so much worse, trapping the next person who thoughtlessly assigns him diagnosis in a demonizing way in a room with me and making them listen to me rant about my failed relationships history for educational purposes

they will learn about all kinds of issues

Ves: it's trueee people act like he's so strange for breaking down but LIKE??? HE'S PRETTY NORMAL FOR THAT ACTUALLY???? he clearly already had Issues but the killing game was perfectly packaged to dig into those this is why DRS and UTDP mostly suck at characterizing him they're still stuck in the idea of him at his absolute worst he was nicer even in ch1 than he is in some of those events

[and then my amazing wife dropped this bomb, and she says I'm the smart one smh] Sini: The thing is, there’s him being shitty on purpose and him pretending to be the mastermind/making himself appear suspicious. There is a clear difference in how he acts. In DRS and UTDP he usually just comes across as playful. Yeah he’s a jackass, but I think his whole “bad guy” persona (the one we see in the beginning of the game) goes beyond the killing game. I see it as a way for him to protect himself, to push people away and not appear as vulnerable. As he’s said before, everyone always sees him as a villain so it’s the perfect role for him. I think that reasoning goes beyond what was happening to him in canon. I do agree his characterization could’ve used a bit more reworking, but I think for the most part they did a good job in showing how differently he acts in a peaceful setting in small ways. The fact that he never uses his scary sprites once or is seen to be more nice with characters like Mikan and Gonta. Especially with Gonta, where he seems to be more vulnerable around. And while this was probably just a mistake, I like to think him being shown as not as pale in DRS as a sign of him getting better. In a non killing game environment he seems to be doing pretty well for himself. But that’s what I believe, anyway

Ves: h that's really sweet actually,,,i may have been a LITTLE hard on the side modes. it's mostly the way he treats kiibo that drives me INSANE, the mikan n gonta stuff is [ok hand emoji].

Sini: Yeah, I agree. I can understand the Kiibo hate, but he doesn’t have to go as hard as he did in game. It’s not like there is a reason to suspect him. The only thing that could maybe explain it is maybe he suspects he could be tied to Monokuma? Since he, the Monokubz, and Monomi do exist here. He was rude to Monomi and seems to suspect her of being not what she seems ALSO, he’s always gonna be a little shit cause he’s a greedy whore. He wants attention and entertainment so badly.

Ves: THISSSSS it's so important i have seen so many people question why he does things where the answer is literally just that he wants attention like there is not always a plot sometimes he just wants shuuichi to chase him

Sini: That’s all there is to it He wants his crush to chase him like in his favourite novels Live the fantasy

Ves: it's part of why they're so good together!! shuuichi as a detective is v used to obsessing over details and giving his whole attention to something in the way kokichi wants HE'S A NERD THAT ALSO EXPLAINS MANY THINGS

Sini: They’re both nerds. Even more reason to why they are soulmates

Ves: kokichi receives the Detective Stare and goes TEEEEEHEE

Sini: IT’S HIS DREAM COME TRUE It’s just like anime! He’s living anime rn

Ves: i think his hair should curl up at the ends when he gets excited as a treat

Sini: To compliment Shuichi’s sentiment ahoge When he goes to his room after an exciting day with Shuichi, he flops on his bed, kicks his feet, and squeals into his pillow

I feel a little ashamed when reverse happens and I am posting something someone else started and I took over, but with this all I can say: follow @vespertin-y and leave nice comments for my wife so we can prove it to her that she is smart and her takes are divine.

#talking canon #danganronpa #ndrv3 #kokichi oma #kokichi ouma #oumasai #saiouma #shuichi saihara #gonta gokuhara #kiibo

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jrueships · 1 year ago

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Ted's omegaverse alignments but not really horny, i just think collabing concepts is neat.

READ ABOVE if u haven't the lore of the world. It's long like this so i can summarize a reminder of some of the terms real quick before we start the list:

ROIDing: can be used by omegas, betas, or alphas to change your status into either an omega, beta, or alpha. Can be a combination, like taking hard rut inducers and hard heat suppressors for an omega to go to a beta status, and can be doubled for an omega to even go as an alpha, although that jump is rare as it's quite the turmoil psychologically and not all minds might be up for the task or temper. Heat inducers and rut suppressors can turn a beta or an alpha into the categories listed below itself on the hierarchy. Anybody can use anything, and anybody can be anything.

WHICH MEANS.. anybody can top or bottom anybody. Omegas can top Alphas, betas, etc. Betas can top Alphas, Alphas can top Alphas. Omega does NOT equal bottom, and it doesn't equal Small either. Although different players take the dynamics differently though. It's Very rare for an alpha to Admit being in a relationship with an omega or beta if they feel like it goes against the usual Alpha relationship grain. There's a certain tension that always follows with freedom

Anyways, let's get right to it. PART 1 because i don't have the time to include EVERYONE rn and i probably won't bcs i don't know know everyone and don't wanna get stuff wrong so. Use ur own interpretation! This is a very open assignment that let's you be the judge in the end! Have fun! Ask questions or give feedback, im happy to hear it! I just love concepts tbh, that's all i rlly wanna do with this. The most will be little stories to go with this world. I'll reblog with more ppl LATER!!!

Michael Jordan: an ALPHA who (supposedly) PRESENTED very, very LATE. No one is exactly sure when he presented. Even Michael's story changes from before getting cut in highschool to after to college to the 'flu' game. But Everyone, at one point, thought he was going to be a beta. ( His siblings laugh at this. ) And then he wasn't. And then he won. And then he became a dictator. After Dennis announced being an omega who ROIDed to even an alpha status, distrust spread to every alignment, no matter how high. An omega becoming an alpha was rare, but now possible thanks to Dennis's admittance. It takes a certain strength, dedication, and insanity to undergo all the medicine, but someone competitive and desperate enough to do it could. Someone like Michael Jordan. Michael merely smirks whenever asked, which is quite Often. Those around him gag at his powerful cigar smoke scent, enough to overwhelm any alpha to their knees. Before his fame, he was quieter, more contained. He did his own laundry, knitted his own clothes, because no one wants a man without a secondary nature. When his alpha nature was finally announced, he stopped smiling and started smirking.

Allen Iverson, an ALPHA who was known to take protecting and providing for the pack a little too seriously. Like Isiah, his status as an alpha was highly doubted due to size. Unlike Isiah, his independent dominance humbled the doubting media time and time again, ultimately trailblazing in the NBA and expanding the game's personal freedom through his refusal to cave into other's wants or needs if he found disagreement. Unfortunately, his hard-headed strengths would also serve as some of his weaknesses, giving some alpha traditionalists confidence to nag on his struggles with finances and championships, always bringing up how a Real alpha would never. For a select few, no matter what Iverson did or didn't, he would never be ‘alpha enough’ to them all over something as silly as height. AI just finds the thought comical, he's probably taller than 50% of those alpha Truist freaks, and he knows for damn sure that he's 101% cooler than all those motherfuckers combined. He doesn't care if they don't think he's an alpha with all of their highly-opinionated evidence, people have hated on him out of basic bitch jealousy his whole damn life. Other people have never changed his mind, and other people never will. If he says he's wearing cornrows, he's wearing cornrows. If he says he's buying everyone everything, shieet, he's buying everyone everything! If he says he's getting a tattoo, he's getting a tattoo. If he says he's an alpha, he's a Fucking alpha. Argue with the wall.

Charles Barkley: ALPHA. hilarious and prickly, perhaps too prickly at times, can be his own downfall from either sheer laziness or stubbornness. Example of how just being an alpha isn't an automatic win in life like some alpha fanboys or egoists might try to persuade

Wilt Chamberlain: ALPHA. was a great player, but personality-wise? .... other alphas like Kareem butted heads with him..

Kareem: ALPHA. Even betas like Magic would then butt heads with Kareem. Standoffish, he tries to keep his distance even from his team due to the stigma of alphas being violent always following him especially because of his height and looks. Even in childhood. Distrustworthy of everyone because of deep-rooted trauma

Isiah Thomas: ALPHA. defends his team and their troubles like a bull, oftentimes a hypocritical.. near-sighted bull. Alpha status is often questioned because of his height. Many think Bill is the real alpha and Isiah is the beta. Those that have the pleasure (or displeasure, as Michael would say), stand firm on their stance that Yes, Isiah is an alpha. Unfortunately, you can really tell. Very protective of his team, especially of Dennis Rodman/omegas in general. Thinks the Bulls are bad for Dennis and doubts Michael’s way of ruling. The Bulls, in his opinion, are too hands-off and don't feel like the kind of loving pack a team is meant to be. Very maternal to his team, which doesn't help his beta questioning case, but everyone close to him vouches his alpha assurance with an annoyed strength. Rumored to have been heard asking if Magic took too much of a specific, unnamed medicine during his sickness, which sprung a lot of people into a panic of whether or not Magic Really is a beta or a ROIDed beta. Isiah firmly denies ever saying this, but Magic believes otherwise even though he’s forgiven him. When questioned about Michael’s status (is he Really an alpha who presented late, or is there ROIDing in the case), Isiah huffed, narrowed thick angry brows, and stated in a high and mighty voice how that's really none of his business, no matter how annoying Michael may be to him.

Larry Bird: ALPHA. Competitive. And fucking Rude. Left baseball even though he was good at it because he was bored with the minutes he was getting. Needs the ball and will clutch the most unexpected games as his form of thanking the coach. Magic is his favorite teasing victim. A famous quote

A reporter rooting around for drama: so, Larry, with all this ROIDing and SUPPRESSOR stuff going around thanks to that weirdo, Rodman, is there anyone you know is using? Like, anyone.. you're close with? Magic’s been under the weather, I heard. Could be a bad side effect of ROIDing.. he smell funny to you?

Larry, cracking open a beer by squeezing the sides until it popped: Magic is Magic.

And refused to elaborate, as he casually turned away and started to play basketball. The camera crew left out of fear for their equipments’ safety when Bird ‘accidentally’ let the ball rebound into a lens.

Bill Laimbeer: BETA who will beat the breaks off anyone. People are surprised for his violence, except for Isiah, who lovingly regales it as Bill's best job. Notably not a big peacemaker for a beta. Just a guy who comes in and plays hard. Not here to be a coddler like other betas were brought on to do or a media darling like Alphas. “I'm here to play basketball and piss people off. Speaking off, hey, Larry” “fuck you, Bill.” Known as The Odd Couple whenever him and Isiah are together, which they often are. In Dennis's book, he regards Bill to be surprisingly cold for a beta, and that Isiah would always be the one to tutor him instead. He only learned from Bill by watching Bill rather than asking, perhaps intimidated. If you want consolation or coddling, go to Isiah, not Bill.

Scottie Pippen: BETA. would try to middleman Jordan's frustrations with his team, especially the rups (rookie 'pups', men playfully called pups because they're new to the sport). Grew envious of Jordan, mainly disturbed by his frequent Sidekick sidelining. Switches up on his stories to whatever he thinks will boost his image best. Sometimes that's siding with Jordan, sometimes it's not. It's not easy being Michael's beta, the enigma. Wafted his calming scent around like febreeze from all the arguments and heated moments he had to calm down regarding Jordan and his competitive temper. Pippen’s scent grew the strongest during Michael’s …flu game. When questioned about Michael’s status, Pippen hummed and turned away, looking conflicted and guilty.

Shaq: BETA. Magic and him both have humorous charms that make them Feel like alphas.. but they needed more to get a ring. They needed alpha teammates, ultimately. no matter how big or bad or good a Beta may be, they are always Second. But they should never, never be considered first. That's an alpha's job. Orlando made that mistake drafting a beta to win them a ring, a beta that would eventually leave to ringchase with any alpha he could. Shaq's a bit shameless for a beta, but being shameless is maybe the only path to 'fame' (becoming a simple shtick to an easy-to-remember title, either being Sidekick, Dumb, Helpful, Funny, Enforcer, etc) for the life of a beta. At least in that time. People wonder if Shaq ever ROIDed into an alpha during key games only, to increase his dominance. He says that would be too much effort. He's just a big ass beta <- his words

Magic Johnson: BETA. Or Was he really? People RUMOR, after Rodman's reveal and especially after Magic's scare, if he was actually a self-conscious, self-compensating omega who craved the lure of feeling needed? And then even went an extra step with the rut inducers to make him a Shiny beta, charismatic enough to peacock? Or was he just that magic to be a really flashy beta? OR OR.. is Magic all of that all at once? Maybe, if he did do it, he needed to? What is known is that he grew up with an alpha mother and an omega father. He yearns to impress and lead people, and showing off gives him a high satisfaction. Because of his beta hierarchy, he had a bigger barrel to fish out of with less scrutiny, so to speak. And man, did he like fishing.

Dennis Rodman: OMEGA. one of the first in the NBA to openly admit to ROIDing so he can change hierarchies. First, he used amplified rut inducers and heat suppressors to hide his omega nature into a beta, just to make the nba transition with less pitfalls and drama, as (out there) omegas were virtually nonexistent due to prejudice. Being a beta on the pistons was phenomenal, he played whatever role was needed, and what happened to be needed was his favorite kind of role: defensive agitator. But, he ended up having to play another role afterwards.. one he found far less amicable. After getting traded, he took more and more of the ROID medicine, not caring for the symptoms of overdoing it. He became an alpha on the Bulls, and his behavior became worrisome for Isiah, but the Bulls had championships to worry about, not teammates. His behavior continued until, after one wild night, Michael Jordan, the mysterious apathetic alpha when it came to worry or kindness, dumped all his ROIDs down the toilet. That was the turnaround, that was the moment that Dennis decided to come clean and tell the world that he was an Omega from the start. And he would be an omega in the end, refusing to go back to ROIDing to become something he knew others only wanted. While he admitted how ROIDing wasn’t for him, he also elaborated how it's really a personal decision, he knows some guys consider it a positive part of their life and he loves that for them. But for him, personally, his decision to ROID was not for himself, in the end, it was for others. And Dennis was notorious for not listening to others; he watched. He watched and realized that he refused to allow others to saddle him, the mustang, so why saddle himself? He was going to play as omega this time, a completely uncovered omega. And the Bulls went on to win. And Dennis became one of the first unROIDed Omegas to win a championship, while being one of the top three pieces-no, Players involved to do so. His decision changed the game for future hierarchies, bridging the option of omegas openly playing sport. But he still stands firm on his flexibility of whether or not to ROID, laughing over how it's ultimately a matter of the self, not the sayers. For him, he felt more true to himself without the medicine, for others, they may say the opposite and that's okay. He knows many like that already. But it's up to the person to deem what is true to himself.. and what is true to the people, that's the hard part: ego.

There's plenty of other older figures to assign, but these guys above are mainly the best for lore-building purposes. To sum the rest up, back then there were mainly alphas and betas. Omegas were either considered too useless or too weak. Alphas would lead, betas would follow. That is.. until LeBron.

LeBron : a BETA who presented late. Everyone thought/wanted him to be an alpha. The highschool phenom was such a hot topic, the truly invasive reporters would go as far as trying to sniff out a deciding scent just so they could be the ones who'd release the giant unveiling first. He was following Michael's Stardom, and everyone wanted him to be the same or larger. When he happily announced his hierarchy reveal after shaking The Cavs hands, the media turned, the team turned, and LeBron realized telling an adult the truth doesn't always grant the clemency family cartoons wished you to believe. His team hated him, refusing to pass or cheer when he was winning. Betas Don't Lead. That's how it’s Always been. His white wine scent tried to soothe their tempers, but it only made them nauseous. Through talent, effort, and unfortunate youthful uphill battle experience, LeBron managed to carve out a name for himself and for other hierarchies to breach the mold besides simply Alphas. The tide was starting to turn. Now, he has fans who prefer him over Michael, an alpha, because he feels more believable, more attainable to them. His beta nature made him more all-around, less competitively daggered than Jordan's rule. But those that hated him then still do with a ruthless vigor. They dislike the change, and they Detest his outspoken advocacy for allowing Omegas into the league. Of any kind. Because of LeBron, Steph was inspired. Reporters asked Michael if he had any strong disagreements with what LeBron's doing to the game. He smirked, “the flopping is funny.” And then smiled, just a bit. Just a touch soft. The cigar smell fades. “Everything else? I could give less of a damn.”

Kyrie Irving: ALPHA who eventually couldn't stand being in a beta's shadow, especially when the dynamics started flipping from the media because of it

Russell Westbrook: OMEGA famous (and infamous) for 'Playing like an alpha'. Giannis's idol. His security and power in his status drives alphas away. Doesn't care for the alignment system because that's what he's always been fighting against (banking against). Criticized for playing so hard that it makes his own teammates wary, Russ just rolls his big shoulders and snaps back, matter-of-fact like a rubber band's elastic response, “then get out of the kitchen.”

KD: ALPHA. His only pack is a gold bust of himself now. Cares about the alignment system because that's what he's always been fighting for (banking on)

James Harden: ALPHA. Known for being more carefree than most alphas. This annoys hard-core alpha basketball elitists. Because of his own traditional condemnation, he holds a not-so discreet disdain toward omegas.

Giannis: OMEGA. People confuse him and his brother's statuses often. Believe it or not, though, Thanasis is an alpha and Giannis is an omega. The bucks were a doubted organization for a Long time due to their strange and rare lack of a strong alpha presence. Giannis is a heavily criticized super star, mainly by alphas, but even some disgruntled betas join the scorn. Some audiences don't consider him a real superstar, merely an omega who got lucky with a superstar body blessing. Giannis grins, his sugary sweet cotton candy scent making Khris cough next to him, and chirps how he wishes he could be blessed with a good 3-point-shot too then, since he's just such a talentless miracle

Thanasis: ALPHA. Dedicates 99.99999% of his life to helping his family. Laughing stock of the NBA fans for Giannis feeling more like the alpha and him feeling like the omega. That's when Giannis gets mad.

Jrue: BETA. Always stands up for his team, while still humbling them. Was brought on as the perfect systematic beta, started to become something more before he was eventually traded for a systematic Alpha after the bucks caved into the idea of there not being enough

Khris Middleton: BETA. Found giannis's attempts to be seen as a Westbrook-like leader annoying at first. They balanced each other out later

Damian Lillard: ALPHA. Quiet, let's his game tell you what he is. If that's not enough, he'll butt heads with other alphas to dig the point. Notably more withdrawn and teasing to packs than classically alpha protective. Rumored to have been a beta who ROIDed into an alpha out of pressure to win. Dislikes Giannis instantly accepting him as the bucks new leader. Uncomfortable by the thought of never being enough

CJ McCollum: BETA. Starting to branch into more leader-like positions after being inspired by LeBron

Steven Adams: BETA. Casually admitted to originally having been an Alpha, but hard dosed rut suppressants because he simply didn't feel like dealing with all the complications and ruckus of being an alpha. Friends with Russ because they hold similar ideologies about not really caring about alignments, they just want to play ball the way they like best

Kawhi Leonard: BETA. Once dropped in an interview that he was an omega who ROIDed into a beta because he didn't like attention and high needs, and he knew he'd be swamped with it if he went into the NBA as one. Then laughed his weird little Kawhi Leonard laugh and left like he just told a silly little dad joke and not an atomic bomb of information. Paul George choked on his water

Paul George: ALPHA who, at first, tried to play the original alpha role by buying into The Savior hype he received after being drafted. LeBron's playoff showdown helped widen his eyes about other hierarchy skill, so when being the packs dependable alpha that didn't work out the way he planned, he tried to play it diluted. Then he tried the beta role. Then the omega role. .. then Kawhi made that monotone announcement and.. he got embarrassed. And confused. And now he's just confused. Like most alphas, he grew leaning into the alignment system that favored him for his high status. Like most alphas now, he doesn't know what to think of it. It's all kind of muddled now. (dammit George! HOW do you keep letting OMEGAS or.. ex-omegas? TOP you?? HOW WILL THIS AFFECT THE PAUL GEORGE LEGACY ?!?? ..ugh, he just won't think about it..)

Joel Embiid: ALPHA. WAS an Undisclosed: Beta who ROIDed into an alpha to contribute to The Process. Now too afraid to go back because it failed. Tries hard to be an alpha when others want him to, until he's too tired to when they actually need him to. Known as one of 'The Lazy Alphas' now

Ben Simmons: ALPHA whose anxieties got too high from the pressures of The Process

Markelle Fultz: ALPHA who was pushed to PRESENT EARLY as one by The Process. Was going to present as an alpha anyways, but the sixers needed him to be revealed as one on Their time

Tobias Harris: BETA disliked by the originally alpha heavy sixers organization for not being dominant enough

Boban: ALPHA, given a lot of leeway for both his status and his size

Tyrese Maxey: ALPHA. Praised as the golden alpha sixers child, although they're not used to his low-aggression levels for an alpha. They're not exactly opposed, though, his sweetness is captivating. Slowly, Maxey is softening the once toxic city

Jokic: ALPHA who once hated not being seen as one due to incorrect aesthetics (alphas are supposed to be strong, so eventually he got strong enough to match their idealization), but now hates being seen as one. Dislikes attention and attraction. He's apparently 'accepted' as an alpha, but STILL not a Complete one for other opinionated reasons. Whatever (similar plight of Allen Iverson + Isiah Thomas, responds like AI by not responding)

DeMar DeRozan: BETA who PRESENTED LATE. It's always a gamble to draft an unpresented pick. When the raptors realized their potential alpha Savior wasn't what they expected him to be, they were blatantly disappointed.. but because of LeBron.. gave him a chance. Maybe he could be like Him? They already had similar stories and hardships? Maybe Toronto had their own LeBron? But DeMar wasn't LeBron. DeMar was DeMar. Toronto deemed him unfit for his playoff struggles. They traded him not for an alpha, but a beta who could at least dominate like one. But the hardest blow was his split with Kyle.

Kyle Lowry: ALPHA. Rough around the edges, smiling at you one second, scowling the next. His turbulent past consisted of personality conflicts the most. He was bristly, suffering from the lone alpha wolf syndrome teams disliked where, instead of leading the team toward him, the alpha pushed them away out of some form of pride. But the Raptors were known for their big culture of chances. Maybe it was thanks to Canadian clemency that Kyle found the one beta who wasn't afraid to step in and calm him, who didn't tire of his temper, whose scent never tried to overwhelm him out of desperate, and was just lowkey enough to extend a comfort enough for Kyle to settle down and calm down in. Maybe it was just a happy coincidence. And then another beta came, one who smelled of mystery and not like the movies. And His beta was sent away. And so was Kyle's secret dreams to settle with their rups and start something he'd be otherwise afraid to do alone. …then an alpha swept in.

Jimmy Butler: ALPHA who PRESENTED LATE. Smells like freshly brewed coffee. Lauded as the next Michael, or at least very similar, he tries Very hard to keep the kind of athletic aggression alphas are typically known for alive. He says it's for himself, working on what he does best, but saying you're not influenced by something (or someone) is always easier than committing to the actual practice of abstention.

OG Anunoby: BETA who refuses to coddle anyone's feelings, yet, despite his best efforts at apathy, still somehow draws in disgusting extroverts to be his friends. He doesn't know why. Likes to subtly stir things up rather than calm them down. Kyle finds him very funny. Their unique Raptor squad was a real unique charm.

Norman Powell: BETA who just craves to be involved, worried about being invisible

Serge Ibaka: a fussy ALPHA with peculiar tastes. Considered to have a very intriguing behavior for an alpha, which allures omegas and betas toward him (usually so they can tease him for being funny, but he does a certain charm to him, admittedly)

De’aaron Fox: ALPHA. Bubbly, welcoming, and teasing, he attracts everyone with his confidence, most particularly other alphas seeking his sunlight

Tyrese Haliburton: a beta who ROIDed into an ALPHA out of desire to help the pacers. Calmer than most alphas, but will hold competitive grudges like the worst of them. Tired of being a loser

Jalen Smith: OMEGA, beloved by locals but barely recognized by outside nba fans for being an omega center/forward. While omegas are actually allowed to show themselves in the league now, that doesn't mean they're allowed to do so without some words by unwarranted audiences.

Buddy Hield: omega who ROIDed into a BETA. Switches from polite to petty on a dime

Steph Curry: OMEGA. Inspired by those that expanded the game before him, he's taking the handle through his moves on and off the court to increase the league’s talent and prosperity for everyone. Those that dislike him disparage him for not being physical enough, which is the only reason why he, an omega, has been so successful. Proving them wrong by going in the paint. Now, they're focusing on whether he can carry a team with a crumbling alpha..

Klay Thompson: a beta who ROIDed into an ALPHA for his team. The injury has left him feeling hopeless, a ghost of his former self. Worst of all, he can't ROID any further to help

Draymond Green: Omega who ROIDed into a BETA and is suffering some of the personal side effects.

Andrew Wiggins: OMEGA who USED to be a ROIDed beta and only stopped when he went to the warriors and Curry consoled him Only because it was hurting him more than helping him

Jordan Poole: ALPHA under constant pressure

Jabari Smith Jr: stuffy ALPHA whose father was a beta. Distrusts the use of ROIDing because, according to his father, it's not playing Fair.

Jalen Green: ALPHA. People like to doubt his hierarchy because he likes to preen and doesn’t hold the same kind of aggressiveness or possessiveness most people perceive alphas to have. Jalen just minds his business and enjoys what he enjoys

Alperen Şengün: beta who ROIDed into an ALPHA. New to the effects, but doesn't mind them. Likes protecting his pack but also keeping the peace. ROIDed to bring more prosperity back to his family through his fame

Aaron Holiday: OMEGA. Jrue likes to tease him since he's the youngest, but the middle Holiday brother will Not let Anyone hurt his little brother or his feelings. Aaron works hard on defense so he can win a ring like his brothers

Justin Holiday: ALPHA who gets confused for a beta at times for his peaceful and placated personality. ‘Blames’ it on being the eldest brother

Anthony Edwards: no known status of any kind as he has YET TO PRESENT. Still. Has to tell reporters to stop sniffing him all the time. Another MJ comparison player. Everyone, including himself, is Hoping for an Alpha reveal, lord knows The Timberwolves need it. Got in trouble for posting a video making fun of omegas, and why would he make fun of something he is? See? Everyone can stop worrying now! It's all gonna be okay!! He swears! ..he hopes. Well, at least he has his charm. If people aren't bored with it yet…

Karl-Anthony Towns: beta who ROIDed into an ALPHA and thinks no one knows but, trust me, everyone does .

Anthony Davis: alpha who ROIDed into a BETA. Heavily hated for this decision, but doesn't care because he says he's more comfortable as a beta, so he's being a beta whether people like it or not. LeBron says he supports it, but people like to stir that he really thinks otherwise

JA morant: ALPHA who PRESENTED LATE. Actively argues against his ROIDing rumors, taking them as a blow to his pride. Hates whenever people confuse Jaren and his hierarchies, then acts out to try and prove them wrong. When he's not obsessed with outside opinion on himself, he's a protective and kind alpha, especially to his pack. Very close to his attracted crowds.. no matter what kind they may be

Jaren Jackson Jr: BETA. His alphas’ number one hype man. May or may not have an (unfortunate) thing for alphas or betas who act like alphas. Thought to be an alpha for his height, but his family and friends quickly disregard that possibility regarding his personality. While it's very difficult to get him actually mad, it's quite easy to get him upset or huffy. For a beta, Jaren’s usually the one who needs calming down rather than the vice-versa of his hierarchy’s original talents. Seeks constant validation because of this, worried he's not the best beta

Desmond Bane: BETA. Withdrawn and would rather stay back to let people fight things out than intervene. He's here to work out, then work. Unfortunately attracts self-conscious crowds with his quiet confidence. Often confused as an alpha.

Dillon Brooks: BETA who ROIDed DOWN from an alpha. If you thought he’s bad as a beta, you should’ve seen him when he was originally an alpha. Oh, he's a Saint now. He only ROIDed because Houston was worried they had too many alphas on the team, an error proven to be bad back in the 80s.

Zion Williamson: a nervous ALPHA who ROIDED from beta to alpha to try and appease his college hype. It's not exactly working..

RJ Barrett: ALPHA who was being pressured into ROIDing into a beta but didn't only because he got trades before the process could really start. Keeps to himself. Known for being charismatic, chirpy, and a bit controlling to those he trusts. Which is fewer than some.

Keldon Johnson: OMEGA. Instantly adopted by older betas and alphas for his happy-go-lucky ( and airheaded ) glee, but secretly yearns for rups of his own to tease and protect. More than willing to step up and be a leader and a shoulder his new rups can lean on when needed, but secretly growing more worried with each passing criticism that he can't be as strong for his rups as his mentor figures were for him

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hazelcephalopod · 5 months ago

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Alright it’s insomnia posting time. I am now half way through Preacher aka the end of season 2 -so however far along you consider that to be. Here’s my thoughts as much as I can coherently relay as of now (I will be using video game metaphors)-

Season one truly does feel like what was meant to be a short tutorial level but developers quickly realized once it hit play testers they had included too much and no one wanted to leave. Therefore they had to force you to leave by blowing up the entire town and 99% of the characters you had grown to care about.

I too would have fallen in love with Tulip bc a) Ruth Negga; b) she’s just the coolest most badass messy women ever.

Jesse is not a good preacher and it is so fucking funny. He’s not terrible, he tries, but he’s just not.

Im gonna stay mad at the insane messy throuple vibes forever. (Do they have the communication skills? Would it be good? Probably not and also maybe that’s one of the reasons it’s so interesting.)

those Angels were fucking right Genesis is not good for a person to have in them. Like it’s clear from the beginning and only gets clearer as time goes on.

All I have to say about Eugene is this poor boy deserves none of this.

this show loves side quests.. Killer of Saints did go somewhere. But. Where it the hell side plot going? (More under the cut)

I think that firmly brings us to season two. Aka. The story kicks off. aka “Jesse having just learned god is missing decides he will find him because that is what the power is for.” (Despite being told it is in fact just the offspring of a demon and Angel that, got out of its prison? Nursery? Sanctuary?)

The second season is basically the main quest needs to be explored but mainly in fetch quests. Meanwhile the player needs most of the parts involving Tulip and Cass so they get the “bad (midpoint) ending”. It’s also apparently an “I’m going to join the evil group despite all evidence that I should not” play through. (I’m ok with this actually it’s just I find putting it that way funny)

Aka. All of these people are very traumatized and secretive. Problems ensue.

On the one hand I get that Cass is probably written as having like attachment issues and stuff. On the other I am reading it fully as he just fell in love with these weirdos and assumes that’s probably not on the table at all but will take whatever he can get.

Tulip deserves far better imho. Just in every aspect of life and storyline.

Jesse clearly suffering from trauma with some symptoms of mania triggered by the immense and inhuman power thrust upon him. Also the severe guilt being reignited by just about the most severe crises of faith. (I’m gonna be real honest I have some half formed thoughts on his trauma, depression, and quite possibly mania)

We all knew Dennis was not going to go well I think and it somehow did go worse. That was not just tragedy but utterly brutal as well in a way that surprised me. Truly believe Cass is probably holding back most of the time -in fact I’m pretty sure it’s firmly implied in the text. So hopefully that goes somewhere.

Jesse the grandson of the swamp witch who does black magic and maybe… voodoo? (I’m sorry that woman looks way to white for that but I admit I’m not well versed in that particular tradition so I will not say more; the show seems to be more focusing in her just being a witch?) (great cutscenes tho)

After they get to new Orlesns the show really becomes “Jesse finds a new cult led by a fascist asshole and uh. Everyone else has fucked up misadventures which Jesse doesn’t appear to even notice most of unless it directly applies to him.” (Aka we are off the group main quest here’s a bunch of individual side quests, decisions matter despite appearing completely unrelated. Will you talk to each other? Btw they do not)

I would be surprised if Jesse remembered who Dennis was by the end tbh. He was not paying attention to anything after they got rid of the Saint of Killers imho with his partners. At the very least I believe it was the last thing he was thinking about.

I am saying partners -yes I am shipper scum get over it- Bc they basically are presented as such by the end of this season. The vibes very much are “bordering on divorce” by the end of the season. Tulip and Cass break up with Jesse, in a diner for joining a weird cult and not paying enough attention to them and being extremely selfish. They are correct imho.

Again Tulip deserves better than this. (Spoiler- I know she gets better. Still. Also I’d have loved to see whoever Jesse actually explained -or perhaps didn’t- his plan to Cass)

they are getting so so divorced broken up and tbh. fair.

“I hate you” delivered in the most… truly trying to just hate him and not being able to way imho.

time for under the cut stuff

So the big points here are- does Preacher deal with fascists and specifically Nazis well? Tbh, I’m not sure it does but I’ve seen much worse.

First we have Herr Starr who is at minimum an authoritarian and I would go as far to say fascist. I’d go as far to say the Grail is heavily fascist leaning. Most of the Grail is just embarrassingly incompetent. Whereas Herr Starr despite the “funny problems” -tbh I was not really amused personally by “lol one of the idiot agents though he wanted a gay gang bang”. Its 2017 why? Who was like “yea let’s do that”. (I have several guesses) Anyway to put it very simply I think he’s just a bit… too cool? Now I admit his main character traits seem to be a deeply selfish desire for power for himself perhaps? I still think he’s a fascist but maybe other have a different read and I’m willing to hear it I guess?

Hitler. Why is he here? Is this necessary? On the other hand it’s a bold move and I could see them doing some subversive and cathartic stuff with him but I admit my own bias of having a strong disgust factor over… just the character. However he sucks, and everyone else except the nicest naivest person in hell agrees, which makes it tolerable.

#Preacher #long post #Unproofread

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fagcrush · 10 months ago

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I honestly don't know if therapy would help you at this point. You are so closed off from personal responsibility and realizing you need to change your mindset. Therapy isn't an easy fix, it's a tremendous amount of work and it's uncomfortable. You say you can't think of any other hobbies and you'd be bad at them forever anyways?

You've given up before even trying if thats your mentality. Nobody picks up a hobby because they want to be amazing at it. They pick it up because it might be fun. I recently picked up guitar (I've never been in music classes) so I could play some real simple stuff at the camp fire and I'm NOT good. But it's nice to just play a simple song next to the fire. If someone told me I was good at it I'd be insulted cus I know it's a lie.

It really doesn't matter if your brother was good at football in high school. You were in highschool a full decade ago it's time to move past the jealousy of the 'gifted' sibling. He's not worrying about being good at something he enjoys because it doesn't matter in adulthood unless it's your literal job.

You beg for strangers online to tell you you are good at something and then when people come up with things you are good at you shoot them down. Nobody responded to your writing because the vast majority of people following you are in similar timezones to you and you buried your writing reblogs with 1 million other posts so how is anyone to even see them? You victimize victimize victimize and never entertain changing your personal mindset which is the only way to stop your spirals.

Most people don't even post about their hobbies online because they are just doing it for fun not for praise.

I mean like. There's seriously nothing new I can think of that doesn't cost insane amounts of money that I don't have rn??? Like. If people have suggestions cool!!! I'd love that!!!

And it's funny bc I had an excellent therapist that was helping in 2019 but she retired when lockdown happened bc she did not want to do virtual appointments and was pretty fuckin old. I just haven't found the right therapist since.

And sorry but i cannot be content being bad and everything I try. I can have hobbies just for fun. I do Kandi just for fun. I play games just for fun (for the most part). Hell one of the games I was the worst about years ago (overwatch) I now just play and am like PROUDLY shit at. I know I'm garbage but tbh being garbage at overwatch feels more fun than trying to be some stupid pro to me. I love being garbage at fighting games to. My brother MELTS me anytime we play ANY fighting game bc hes a decently ranked comp player and im a button masher. And I'm cackling the whole time.

My problem is there not ONE THING I am good at to me. Nothing. And having a relative that can pick up anything and ace it gets frustrating and makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong that I struggle to be good at anything after YEARS, let alone instantly.

No one in the past 24 hours has told me I'm good at anything but being a friend which... if that's the case. Why do i have zero irls. Why can't I connect with others at all.

And I refuse to believe NO ONE AT ALL saw that writing I posted. It's not possible. I have 150 followers and I don't think I posted much that day until I got upset that it was being so overlooked.

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spif-lol · 1 year ago

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So I saw some half life opposing force related thing where someone made a comment about gearbox were idiots who don't care about continuity bc when they reused the hydroelectric dam in opfor they had the secure access door (from the above image) connect to a random storage facility (which is one of the coolest parts of the game btw) INSTEAD of to the area in forget about freeman with the same door, which was OBVIOUSLY meant by Valve to be the other side of the door since you can't go through it in surface tension. And so my map layout loving ass decided to look for the door in question so that I could defend my boy half life opposing force - fully expecting it to be just another secure access door that COULD be the same door but ultimately might just be a similar door. So i found it, at the end of forget about freeman right before you enter the lambda complex and like...

WTF. I was not expecting it to be literally the same building and layout. Like yeah this could just be a reused asset but it's like, not a building design I remember seeing anywhere else, with all the details the same, the pipe things on the roof. what the fuck. And of course even if this was intentional it might just be part of valve's minimalist map design but the narrative implications do not escape me...

In the hydroelectric dam sequence where the chopper and other soldiers camped at the bridge force you to retreat into the desert, neither you nor Freeman knows what is on the toher side of that door, or even has a specific destination in mind at this moment. Like yeah you've been directed by security guards and scientists to head towards the lambda complex 'on the other end of the facility' but we don't know where that is exactly, and since the start of the resonance cascade - and especially since we recently got captured and almost killed by the soldiers - our main goal has been just to survive; the saving the world stuff is pretty secondary tbh. You don't give this door a second thought

Inbetween the dam and the lambda complex, however, is quite possibly the most brutal and taxing stretch of the game, and of any half life game probably. There are so many incredibly difficult battles during surface tension, in particular the one as you navigate the cliff face, then there's a gargantua chase, and then in forget about freeman you go through an underground facility filled with grunts, vortigaunts and snark mines. Every time I've played through the game this stretch has been a struggle, even knowing what is to come (surface tension almost made me give up on half life on my first playthrough even).

So you get to the end of forget about freeman, reach the elevator which takes you to the heavily guarded lambda complex. And you, Gordon Freeman, turn around and see this fucking door. And maybe you remember that you've seen this before, you've been on the other side of this. And you realise that you've just spent HOURS battling across the desert when the lambda complex was just beyond that door the WHOLE TIME

Like goddamn if that was valve's intention that is INSANE environmental storytelling.

I still count opposing force as canon tho, so in my mental map of the facility this is a bit of a schrödinger's door i suppose. Gordon never goes through it so maybe to balance things this building design is reused next to the storage facility adrian travels through, so that either way Gordon's journey just gets that little more futile >:)

#half life #half life opposing force

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linka-from-captain-planet · 2 months ago

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Rana/Neve Headcanons (aka Evidence) below cut

Ship name - "raneve" just because it flows nicely. For the traditional top-first-in-the-ship-name sorts, it is definitely Neve metaphorically if not literally

Repressed - my hc is that Rana comes from a traditional family and doesn't have hangups about being a lesbian, per se, but has hangups about "flaunting" it (read: living her life like a normal person). She's also just generally reserved and struggles to reach out and take what she wants (more satisfying work, Neve)

Libido - I interpret "terminally horny" as the like, fandomified fanficified constantly oversexed kind of thing so the middle ground between that and "no libido" is "average sexual appetite." These are busy women with Work To Do, they are not stopping in the middle of a case to finger in the alley.

Romantic - both of them land in the middle ground because on one hand they'll eat their own hands before they express emotional vulnerability in public willy-nilly but also they're incapable of not bleeding out how obsessed they are with each other. Romantic and PDA being polarities fucks me up on this because I think they feel kinda gross about how romantic they are in private (cuddling, bubble baths, gits, the works)

Mentally Ill and KMSing over being in love - self-explanatory but also see below re: functionality

Doomed/Blessed - I was absolutely gobsmacked that Rana doesn't die in this game. In contrast, Neve's plot armor really saved the day for her because she's Going Thru It. However Neve can possibly get everything she wants in the end, while Rana in the sacrificed-Minrathrous ending loses her job, home, AND chick with no resolution

Weapon/Weilder - idk what this means tbh but Neve will go to bat for anyone

Nightwear - kind of a fumble bc lbr, Neve is typically passing out in the dirty clothes she wore that day and her canonical jorts. But she has the aura of someone who'd wear a fancy nightdress, especially if she had an easily-flustered lover to taunt. Rana has actual nightclothes but she's so no-nonsense ,it's probably just a typical cami-short set or whatever unisex bullshit the Templars issue

Jealous - Neve has a bit the self-defeating "she'd be better off without me" jealously that she deploys any time she observes another woman wanting a piece of Rana's ass (often). Rana is just not the jealous-jealous type, but I find it hard to describe her as "chill" in this context since Neve is the most disorderly part of her life that probably makes her feel insane. Neither of them is beating someone up for trying to buy the other a drink in the bar, but both of them are managing to die mad about it somehow

Game - Rana has 0 game but could have bitches if she wanted, meanwhile Neve has mad game but 0 bitches. Women generally like Rana because she's attractive, earnest, friendly, and employed, so she doesn't really need 'game' to obtain sex or dates when she wants them. Meanwhile, Neve uses her game and overwhelming sexiness mostly to deflect attention. Her status as a local celebrity/troublemaker/crypid sort of scares the hoes and her status as a scared ho herself results in her being chronically bitchless and also in denial about being lonely/touch-starved

Functional - a big part of their appeal is that Rana is as Certified Normie while Neve is constantly going through The Horrors, mostly her own feelings. Unfortunately I couldn't give Neve a soggier-loser rating bc she still manages to be extremely competent and functional despite this

#neve x rana

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asterekmess · 5 years ago

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(I was gonna save this for tomorrow, but FUCK IT) Eyyy, still being salty over here. Pls block the tag ‘rant’ if you don’t wanna see anymore of these. Or maybe ‘anti-scott mccall’ though, tbh, I’m not sure how much fun it would be to follow me if you aren’t anti-scott mccall. I’m pretty vocal abt disliking him.

ANYWAY.

I wanna talk about the concept of Derek being a ‘creeper’ because of all his wandering around the lacrosse field, at lydia’s party, etc. And by talk about, I mean ramble about incoherently. By which I mean, please know that I’m not trying to insult or fight anybody who makes this joke or uses this concept in fic or whatever. I’m just ranting bc I love this boy and his trauma makes me sad.

ANYWAY. (This is insanely long, so I’m adding a “Read More”)

I just have a lot of feelings about people seeing Derek as a stalker/creeper because he keeps showing up at lacrosse practice and in Scott & Stiles’ rooms, etc. It gets mentioned in loads of fics (I see a lot of “Creeperwolf” which I think is supposed to be an endearment?) (And there’s lots of fics that talk about how ‘you used to be/are really creepy, following us around’ Again, not judging) (Dude it’s even a whole tag on AO3 ‘Creeper Derek Hale’) and it’s joked about a lot in fandom (the vine with the ‘every step you take’ song and the swans on the building comes to mind). I see it a lot, and dude, it hurts me.

Let’s look at Derek’s current mental state and what he’s been dealing with, going all the way back to Paige. (Or, tbh, his birth) Derek is a werewolf. He was born a werewolf, to a family of werewolves. He grew up within the supernatural world, in a whole different culture to humans (honestly, my fury at the lack of werewolf culture/history/worldbuilding is worthy of its own post. Let me know if by some ungodly chance, you actually wanna hear my thoughts on it.) and presumably the number one rule in all of werewolfdom is “Keep the Secret.” Now, Derek’s fuckin’ 14/15 (I put his birthday on Christmas, like most of fandom, and if his house burned down when he was 16, in the spring, and he was dating Kate for a while before, he would’ve dated her when he was 15, and we don’t know how long there was between paige and kate, but let’s give him a summer of mourning. So. 14ish with paige) and he starts dating this human. He’s kinda shit at keeping the secret, implying that either he’s only dated werewolves before, or she’s his first girlfriend ever (also implying that maybe some of the people on his basketball team are werewolves, bc they don’t seem to notice his weird way of talking [pack members maybe? fuck, my heart]) and he’s maybe not as careful as he should be. (More implications arise, and we begin to build our own history. If Derek was never taught not to say dumb shit like ‘i caught a scent’ then was he even in public school before freshman year? Were the Hales all homeschooled before high school to help keep the secret? How soon do wolfy abilites arise? Do they hit with puberty? Fuck, I digress.) He says some dumb shit, and Paige gets suspicious. Of course, he doesn’t know that, and he has some kind of meltdown about her eventually finding out his secret. We hear from Peter (who’s villainized, so we’re not supposed to necessarily believe what he says, but what we see in the flashback doesn’t make a huge amount of sense either so *shrug*) that he enlists Ennis to bite Paige, believing that if she is bitten she won’t spill the secret and she’ll be more inclined to accept that Derek is a werewolf. Now, she fucking dies. Paige dies in Derek’s arms because of this, and he finds out at the last second that she already knew the secret. He feels guilty enough abt getting her killed but now he’s got a whole new batch of guilt from finding out that apparently he’s so bad at keeping the secret of his ENTIRE SPECIES that she found out he was a werewolf. She could’ve exposed them all at any time. He had to be terrified. Next, he’s 15/16 and he meets a gorgeous older woman who presumably showers him in affection, and all the horrors that go with that whole situation (I don’t wanna go into detail, because obviously). But again, whether Derek tells her himself or she just knew or she finds out, whatever it is, Kate knows Derek and his family are werewolves. AND SHE KILLS THEM ALL. Derek has no clue what the fuck is going on. All he knows is he is the only link between Kate and his family, which must mean that it’s his fault she knows about them. Once again, he’s revealed the Big Secret and people Died. He and Laura bolt to NY for six years, where presumably they live in hiding thinking the Argents are coming after them to finish off the Hales. Then Laura gets sent a funky letter and goes back to Beacon Hills. Now, we have a lil more confusion (i’ve got a whole buttload of issues with the timeline, but let’s not get into that now) because he says he came looking for Laura, but later he mentions that he knew she was in Beacon Hills and was searching for...whoever burnt down their house...that whole plotline confuses the shit out of me (derek knew kate did it. he blamed All the argents, but he knew kate was involved. So why was Laura looking for the pendant. and if he didn’t tell her then why was he looking for the pendant?? And what did the pendant have to do with the deer and the spiral?? Halp.) but whatever. He shows up and finds his sister dead, the hunters arrive in town the next day, and suddenly there’s an angry alpha Attacking Humans.

We’re finally in the present. Derek has lost what little family he had left, except for a catatonic uncle. He already has two instances in his past where the worry of keeping werewolves a secret has caused deaths. And now there’s this teenager. No, actually, two teenagers. One who was bitten, and one who shouts out “You’re a werewolf!” in the middle of the preserve, instantly figuring out a centuries-old supernatural secret. Derek is fucking terrified, and things are only getting worse. This kid who got bitten? Derek follows him to see if he’s really a wolf, to find out if he knows what’s happening to him, if he believes the other teen. He finds the kid JUMPING OVER PEOPLE’S HEADS in broad daylight in front of everyone. Derek might’ve had a couple verbal giveaways but this is just ridiculous. Then, even better, the kid goes on a date on the FULL MOON with THE YOUNGEST ARGENT. There’s about a billion reasons to follow Scott to the party. It’s a FULL MOON, for one. HE’S WITH AN ARGENT for another. And of course he can’t just walk into the party. He’s fucking 22 for fuck’s sake. This is a high school party. He’d get arrested. And of course he doesn’t introduce himself to Scott beforehand. He has no way of knowing if this kid is on the Alpha’s side. He’s the Alpha’s Beta, it would make perfect sense for him to be obeying the Alpha. OR since he’s with the Argent, maybe he’s working with them. Maybe he’s a plant of some kind. a hunter pet. Laura was used as bait to catch Derek, why not Scott too? But he sees quickly that Allison has no clue what’s going on, at least with Scott, and he takes her home and steals her jacket to lure Scott into the Preserve where he can’t hurt anyone. Then, when he sees Scott get chased by the hunters, with no Alpha coming running to protect him, he decides “Alright, guess this kid’s my ally. Gotta protect him.” Yeah. He says some weird shit. But the evidence points to Derek not knowing much about bitten wolves. He tells Scott that he doesn’t know how to train a bitten wolf, but he does know how to help Scott recover memories (the memory loss appears to only happen in the early days of shifting, which lends more credibility to the possibility that born wolves don’t start shifting properly until later in life [puberty being the most likely milestone] and he therefore has experience with that, but not with the kind of control Scott needs, that he’s known his whole life). Born a werewolf, he’s never considered the bite anything other than a gift. He also just lost his entire family, so sue him for trying to find some kind of connection between them. (It honestly makes total sense for him to use the term ‘brothers’ bc he KNOWs Scott won’t understand the concept of ‘pack’ yet) So, now that’s decided to help Scott, to protect him, he goes back to the school. SURELY now that Scott knows what he is and how dangerous he is when stressed, he’ll reign himself in during lacrosse, or even just back out of it altogether. There are lives at stake here, be them human, or if Scott exposes the secret, werewolves. SURELY this kid wouldn’t put everyone in danger over a fucking game. But no. Not only does he keep flaunting his abilities, but he SHIFTS ON THE FIELD. If Stiles hadn’t Dragged Scott out of there, the entire supernatural world would be EXPOSED by this ONE KID. Derek passed Terrified about a hundred miles back. He’s gotta be fucking out of his mind with fear. I don’t blame him even a little for threatening Scott. If Scott’s not gonna do the right thing on his own, then threatening him is worth it if people don’t DIE. Then, bc Scott’s a pissy baby and goes to shout at him and be a fuckwad, and Stiles is nosey and neither of them have boundaries (I love Stiles, but fucking seriously, digging up a grave?) Derek gets ARRESTED. He pleads with this lanky teen who is brave enough to climb into the cruiser with a WEREWOLF. Who’s FRiends with a Werewolf. Who figured it out so quickly. He pleads with him to understand how dangerous this is, to stop his friend. And Stiles looks like he’s gonna, but Scott bolts bc of the wolfsbane (Which...listen if I’m being really salty, a deep bitter part of me genuinely wonders if he was that freaked out, or if he overheard Derek beg Stiles not to let Scott play, and Scott ran away from Stiles so he wouldn’t get told no, bc he wanted to play.) and by the time Stiles finds him he’s already dressed for the game. And DEREK WAS RIGHT. Scott DID lose control. He DID shift on the field. At LEAST one human saw him shift, and the coach for the other team knew something was up too. He DID expose them, and he did it further bc Jackson is suspicious now. Now, I’ve reblogged a gifset of it before, the moment when Derek shows up at the lacrosse field and finds Jackson standing in it after Scott’s run off, staring at a glove with a claw hole in it. He is watching his worst nightmare come true. Scott has exposed them and Jackson is going to figure out werewolves, just like Stiles did. He knows right that instant that people are going to die. I’ll reiterate what I said in the tags on that gifset. It’s extremely likely that Derek bit Jackson out of self-preservation. Jackson had been threatening to tell the hunters and the entire world if he didn’t get what he wanted. The safest thing to do was give Jackson the bite so that at least he would be putting himself in danger too if he exposed werewolves. He forced Jackson to have to keep the secret for himself because he knew Jackson wouldn’t do it for anyone else. (And he knew Jackson had some self-preservation, compared to Scott, and wouldn’t want to expose himself.)

Listen, I just. I just get so sad watching Derek sneaking into people’s rooms and standing on the edge of the field and showing up in the locker rooms. He’s trying to help. He’s trying to protect. He wants to be there in case Scott does something stupid (which he does, again and Again) to protect him, even after Scott REFUSED to help him stop a SERIAL KILLER because there wasn’t anything in it for him. Even after Scott fucking blackmails him by leaving him hanging on a grate with wires plugged into his side and his abuser on their way back to hurt him, he still helps him protect Allison (who watched him be tortured and did nothing. [He still has the capacity to acknowledge that it’s not her fault. That she couldn’t save him. He doesn’t blame her for it and he certainly doesn’t want her to die.]) He wants to keep his Betas safe. He stands in the parking lot waiting for them to test Lydia because he doesn’t want them to have to go through with killing her alone (and he only tries to kill her because she DOESN’T pass the test [although I admit it’s a dumb test] and because the kanima is KILLING people. More people have died and I don’t know how the fuck Derek manages to keep standing, let alone having such capacity for empathy and optimism and sarcasm after everything he’s dealt with. He’s constantly being hunted by hunters or humans, or fuck even Scott himself, since every time Scott gets upset he blames Derek for everything (I’m still fucking disgusted that he turned up at Derek’s place and accused him of murdering his own sister.) And STILL he shows up. No matter how many times he’s shoved away and ignored and yelled at. He shows up and he stands on the fringes and he waits for the chance to help.

And what’s creepy about that?

#personal #rant #Fuck i love Derek and I'm so fucking sad #i have a lot of feelings okay?#like I said #i'm not judging people who use the concept in fics or who make the jokes or whatever #i'm just talking about my own feelings #anti-scott mccall #Meta Ramblings

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aerltarg · 3 years ago

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2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 26, 27 from ask game

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

oh, it's actually hard to answer bc pretty often my otps can work as brotps for me as well. it also means that when i can't ship some characters they don't work for me as friends either. not to mention that in asoiaf i'm open to many ships, and if i'm not very passionate about some it's not a sign i can't see them in romantic light.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

may i say any sansa ship? 😭 as well as sansa herself lmao. idk generally i can't ship characters i don't like because i'm just not interested. and it's not to say i don't like book!sansa (show!sansa is another case 💀), i just don't find her arc as intriguing and epic as arcs of some other characters. however, it's absolutely her obnoxious fandom's fault that i don't want to touch anything about her now, pairings including. sansaery? pass. sansan? i used to have a soft spot for them in my heart but now? nah. sansa x anyone? pls have mercy, she's already a fandom bicycle.

and jonsa ofc. i would never mind some crack ship as i do this one if not for their obnoxious stans that did way too much to list there right now. but this burning desire to persuade every rock on the street that your crack ship is canon will never stop being ridiculous lmao

also braime. tbh i used to low-key like them but some of their stans weirded my away lol. i get that not all of them are like that but still. it's generally my great pain when i see braime/brienne/jaime stans who are also dany/targ antis. every time i see them i cackle and run away as fast as i can crying from disappointment lmao. it's really a pity because i'm either very neutral or like in my own way all three of them.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

jonrya it is! i never hated them, you know, but they never were more than siblings and brotp to me. however, later i encountered the deluded crack ship fandom that shall not be named and understood that if there is any possible romance for jon with any of his sisters-cousins we all know which one it will be lmao. also their stans are very sweet and i really like many of their takes on arya and jon! i generally love relationships of jon and arya very much so it wasn't that difficult in practice to see them in a quite different light.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can't stand now?

meta culture lmao. reading different analysis and interpretations of the text used to be very interesting to me (and still is tbh but in other fandoms) though asoiaf is a different case. imo many people aren't honest in their so called theories and analyses. i get that all of us are biased but some "meta writers'" denial of their own biases influence fandom in a bad way. it looks like too many people run to them to get answers to their questions about any minor detail as if they were grrm himself. yk instead of using their own reading comprehension lmao. you see how this meta culture ruined fandom just looking at the most delusional stans and shippers who spread their agenda by writing endless text posts full of nonsense and bullshit but styled as oh so intellectual and thoughtful analysis. it's insane how many people actually buy it and don't check canon accuracy of such claims themselves. it got to the ridiculous point when random people try to argue with you with some far-fetched embarrassing "theories" as if they were canon facts or quotes straight up from a fanfic because they read somewhere some other confused soul's post and got from a context that this quote is canon (despite the fact that it wasn't written in grrm's style at all but some people can't use their brains even if their lives depended on it it seems).

anyway it's become too long and rambly already so tldr. because of such "neutral unbiased" analyses i got the habit of fact checking almost everything i see in such posts. there's only a small amount of meta writers from targ/dany/jon/arya stans that i trust because i know by practice and following them for some time that they don't pull anything out of nowhere, back up everything they say with canon quotes, don't decontextualize anything and (that is the most important thing to me) are reasonable and open to discussion unlike so many bnfs nowadays.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?

ah, not in this fandom yet, god bless! i think i'm not loud enough for the needed amount of time to deserve it lol. but since i'm not going anywhere soon maybe one day i will 😂

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

robert baratheon and tywin lannister, obviously. tbh it's pretty hard for me to hate any characters because you know. they're fictional lmao. just lines on paper, they can't hurt you. and even such dudes as tywin or robert don't get real distaste from me if they're written well enough. my problem with them lies not only in their canon crimes and shitty consequences of those but in fandom's (or at least some parts of it) unwillingness to acknowledge that they're canonically written as shitty, not as stan/pity/worship material. tywin isn't as clever as some think and robert is a coward outside of battlefield, not to mention some absolutely disgusting denial of his nature from targ antis only because the man happened to be the most vocal targ hater in-universe so these folks feel like he is their main book representative and whitewash him completely lmao

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

uugh idk even. i'm either low-key interested (or used to be at least so i can stay pretty neutral for the sake of nostalgia lol) or too indifferent to really care.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

all my faves have their own crowd of haters i'm afraid 😭 but let me say rhaegar. even among some dany/targ stans my man is so misunderstood lmao. it's not even his fault i dare say it's fanon about his half-imagined crimes that somehow got widespread to the unbelievable degree. and when i say they're half-imagined i'm being very generous actually. ofc he isn't perfect, no one in asoiaf is. and yes, he's a pre-series dead minor character but almost all little information about him is actually positive, not to mention the narrative itself that doesn't paint him as a villain or just a shitty dude. on the contrary, he's an idealized to some degree dead prince who could've been a good king (like some other historical targaryens, jacaerys, baelor breakspear, aemon son of jaehaerys, etc.), a mysterious yet tragic figure. i have much to say about why it's so popular to shit on him in fandom but yeah. his haters should send their complaints to grrm instead, no one forced the man to write him like that lol. and i mean that no one has to like him ofc. but it's misinterpretation of the text to claim he was intentionally written as a villain or smth by grrm.

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

i don't know if it counts as unpopular but i would say tyrion's arc as a whole because i enjoy his character and like in my own way. i can get why some people don't like him but this man will always have his own place in my heart i must admit.

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

is this unpopular tho?.. ok but renly wouldn't make a terrible king. i dare say he would be better than both robert and stannis. yes, he wasn't shown as perfect and i don't claim this. he wouldn't be the best or the most brilliant or the most just or noble. yet still better than his brothers. his flaws weren't anything other high lords didn't have, his mistakes weren't anything other lords and kings didn't do. in many ways he would make a better job than robert or stannis, too bad he died so early, even though i get why it was important for the narrative.

26. Most shippable character?

well generally for me it's the ones i love the most lol. jonerys/snowstorm is my never dying otp but i admit my sins, sometimes i just see dany with other characters (often from other fandoms pls don't @ me). however, since dany is THE fave of mine it means i would rather twist the other guy or girl to fit into the good match for her than twist her for another character in my new born crack ship lol. and i never stay for too long with the ships with which i feel they don't really fit and don't do justice for each other lol. maybe that's the reason i'm not much of a rare shipper / crack shipper afshdjdb

27. Least shippable character?

everyone i don't like? 😭 as i've said sansa for the reasons above lol. you can insert many others in her place lmao

#thanks for the ask!#.txt #mypost #ask game #anonymous #*answered

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espejonight28738 · 5 years ago

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The Destiel Story (A Playlist)

Merry Christmas! Here’s my gift to y'all. I made a chronological playlist of destiel, and I’ll explain each song on by one. Or if you aren’t interested in reading that much (3) HERE you have the spotify playlist :)

Tagging: @verobatto-angelxhunter @agusvedder @legendary-destiel Happpy Holidays :3

04×01/04×06 Infra-red -Three Days Grace Just getting to know each other

Everyone’s living in black and white We see each other in a different light That’s why I look at you like I do Like nobody else is even in the room [...] In Infra-red The heat and the light and the way you move Like nobody else is in the room If you fall into me, I fall into you I see you, I see you

04×07/04×20 You Found Me - The Fray In 04×07 we have the whole “I’ll tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul”, so trust begins to flourish here.

Lost and insecure You found me, you found me Lying on the floor Surrounded, surrounded Why’d you have to wait? Where were you, where were you? Just a little late You found me, you found me

04×21/ 05×03 - Angel With a Shotgun - The Cab You know, rebel against heaven and everything you ever believed for a friend. It’s casual.

They say before you start a war You better know what you’re fighting for Well baby, you are all that I adore If love is what you need, a soldier I will be I’m an angel with a shotgun Fighting til’ the wars won I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back I’ll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe Don’t you know you’re everything I have? And I, wanna live, not just survive, tonight

04×05 - Stoned on You - James Young I was about to put Toxic, but I think that joke’s been made to many times already.

Girl, I get stoned on you Rubbing my bones on you (yeah) Nothing else burns like you do (no) Oh Lord, I get stoned on you, oh Stoned!

05×05/22×05 - Dangerous Night - Imagine Dragons Does it happen to y'all that you are trying to stop The Apocalypse, but you keep having gay thoughts about your angel? Annoying, I know

What a dangerous night to fall in love Don’t know why we still hide what we’ve become (oh, oh) Do you wanna cross the line? We’re runnin’ out of time A dangerous night to fall in love Started a stranger, a love endangered The edge of a night The face of an angel, the heart of a ghost Was it a dream?

Time Skip bewtwen s5/s6 Dare I Say - Alexander Rybak If only Cas had kept contact with Dean, I would be able to use Lips Of An Angel, but no, he had to go all MIA. But this song’s still good so. Cas POV, btw.

She doesn’t know that I’m thinking of her […] She makes me glad just by being alright Though I would wish that just for one night She would come back and again we’ll be friends Like those times where love never ends […] You said you love him the last time we met Please tell your boyfriend that I’m not a threat I know the difference between right and wrong […] But dare I say you are amazing in every way? And would you mind if we woke up with each other each day? But then I remember that I’m just a guy And still I keep dreaming of you ‘cause that’s all I can do

06×01/06×19 I’m Not An Angel - Halestorm Cas POV again. S6 is so angsty istg I had like 300 possibles songs for each of the following parts.

You saw all the signs, but you let it go You closed your eyes […] Hate being that wall That you hit when you feel that you gave it all I keep taking the blame When we both know that I’ll never change […] I wasn’t always this way I used to be the one with the halo But that disappeared when I had my first taste And fell from grace and left me in this place

06×20 Set Fire To The Rain - Adele You can’t have a descent playlist without Adele, amirite? Dean’s POV this time. Poor baby really felt betrayed. The Man Who Would be King is probably one of my faves episodes tbh.

But there’s a side to you That I never knew, never knew All the things you’d say They were never true, never true And the games you play You would always win, always win […] I set fire to the rain And I threw us into the flames Well, it felt something died 'Cause I knew that that was The last time, the last time Sometimes I wake up by the door, That heart you caught must be waiting for you Even now when we’re already over I can’t help myself from looking for you

06×21/06×22 Angels - Within Temptation I love this song so much and it’s so destiel in these episodes I swear I can’t for how much it fits. Dean’s POV

Sparkling Angel, I believed You were my saviour, in my time of need Blinded by faith, I couldn’t hear, All the whispers, the warnings so clear […] You took my heart, deceived me right from the start You showed me dreams, I wish they’d turn into real You broke the promise and made me realize It was all just a lie

07×01/ 07×02 - What Have You Done - Within Temptation I don’t know whose POV, but this song is so perfect I can’t believe no one has thought of this before.

Would you mind I kill you? Would you mind if I tried to? Cause you have Turn into my worst enemy You carry hate that I don’t feel. It’s over now, what have you done? (What have you done now?) I, I’ve been waiting for someone like you But now you are slipping away (What have you done now?) Why, why does fate make us suffer? There’s a curse between us Between me and you

07×03/07×16 Incomplete - Backstreet Boys And in this Dean Grieving Cas Pt.1, we have a little bit of denial and a lot of heart-brokenness.

I tried to go on like I never knew you I’m awake, but my world if hald asleep I pray for this heart to be unbroken But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete […] I don’t mean to drag it on But I can’t seem to let you go I don’t want to make you face this world alone I want to let you go

07×17 Taking Over Me - Evanescence The Born Again Identity. Dean’s POV. No more comments.

You don’t remember me, but I remember you I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do I believe in you I’ll give up everything just to find you I have to be with you to live to breathe You’re taking over me Have you forgotten all I know And all we had? You saw me mourning my love for you And touched my hand I knew you loved me then

07×18/07×22 Clarity - Zedd Is this a joke about Crazy!Cas? Maybe. But I think it’s mostly serious. Probably.

Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need Chasing relentlessly Still fight and I don’t know why If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy If our love’s insanity why are you my clarity

Purgatory - A Thousand Years - Christina Perry The Purgatory storyline makes me so emotional I love it so much and now we are going back and- If they don’t solve their problems so I can add Halo to this playlist then what’s even the fucking point.

How to be brave? How can I love when I’m afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone All of my doubt Suddenly goes away somehow One step closer I have died every day waiting for you Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years I’ll love you for a thousand more […] And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I’ll love you for a thousand more

08×01/08×07 The Night We Met - Lord Huron Dean trying to deal with his feelings about leaving Cas behind, and his really platonic hallucinations.

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don’t know what I’m supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met

08×08/08×16 Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye Dean’s POV hurting because Cas is acting strange and doesn’t respond to his prayers even after all they lived together in Purgatory.

But you didn’t have to cut me off Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing And I don’t even need your love But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough No, you didn’t have to stoop so low Have your friends collect your records and then change your number I guess that I don’t need that though Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

08×17 Find my way back - Eric Arjes Cas finding his way to Dean even with Naomi’s brainwashing :D

On my way now Don’t give up on me And no one knows what What tomorrow brings These weary eyes will never rest Until they look in yours again […] There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do I’ll find my way back to you I’ll find my way back to you I’ll find my way back Into the dark to chase your heart No distance could ever tear us apart There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do I’ll find my way back to you

08×18/09×02 Hold On - Chord Overstreet Cas bailing on Dean -again-, and going AWOL -again-, and then saying he will close Heaven and probably die, or in the least never see each other again.

Loving and fighting Accusing, denying I can’t imagine a world with you gone The joy and the chaos, the demons we’re made of I’d be so lost if you left me alone […] I don’t wanna let go I know I’m not that strong I just wanna hear you Saying baby, let’s go home Let’s go home Yeah, I just wanna take you home Hold on, I still want you Come back, I still need you

09×03 To Good at Goodbyes - Sam Smith I won’t comment this chapter bc it still hurts me :) “You can’t stay”

I know you’re thinking I’m heartless I know you’re thinking I’m cold I’m just protecting my innocence I’m just protecting my soul […] But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry And every time you walk out, the less I love you Baby, we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true I’m way to good at goodbyes

09×06 Do I Wanna Know - Artic Monkeys This is POV both of them kinda, I don’t know how to explain it, it just gives me the vibe. An alternative to this if you like music in spanish, is “Ex de verdad” from Ha-Ash. I think that one is much funnier for the situation, but I decided for english only :(

Do I wanna know If this feelin’ flows both ways? (Sad to see you go) Was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay (Baby, we both know) That the nights were mainly made For sayin’ things that you can’t say tomorrow day Crawlin’ back to you Ever thought of callin’ when You’ve had a few? 'Cause I always do Maybe I’m too Busy bein’ yours To fall for somebody new Now, I’ve thought it through Crawlin’ back to you

09×07/09×23 I Would Do Anything For Love - Meat Loaf “His true weakness is revealed. He’s in love. With Humanity.”

As long as the planets are turning As long as the stars are burning As long dreams are coming true You’d better believe it, that I would do Anything for love Oh I would do anything for love Oh I would do anything for love

10×01/ 10×03 My Demons - Starset This is completely serious. I swear.

Take me over the walls below Fly forever Don’t let me go I need a savior to heal my pain When I become my worst enemy The enemy […] Take me high and I’ll sing Oh you make everything okay (okay, okay) We are one in the same Oh you take all of the pain away (away, away) Save me if I become My demons

10×04 /10×22 No Rest -Dry the River A.K.A time for the angsty parallel Cain/Colette & Dean/Cas

Did you see the light in my heart? Did you see the sweat on my brow? Did you see the fear in my heart? Did you see me bleeding out? I loved you in the best I loved you in the best way possible I loved you in the best way possible I loved you in the best way possible I loved you in the best

10×23 /11×10 Next to Me - Imagine Dragons -I almost killed you bc of the Mark of Cain and then you almost killed me with Rowena’s spell but still here we are.

Oh, I always let you down You’re shattered on the ground But still I find you there Next to me And oh, stupid things I do I’m far from good, it’s true But still I find you Next to me

11×11/11×22 If You Only Knew - Shinedown *Violently pinning while Cas is being Lucifer’s vessel*

If you only knew How I refuse to let you go, Even when you’re gone I don’t regret any days I Spent, nights we shared, Or letters that I sent It’s 4:03 and I can’t sleep Without you next to me I Toss and turn like the sea If I drown tonight, bring me Back to life Breathe your breath in me The only thing that I still believe In is you, if you only knew […] You help me live and learn

11×23 I’ll Follow You Into The Dark - Gavin Mikhail “I could go with you” GOD do they make me cry

If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied And illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I’ll follow you into the dark

12×01 Arms - Christina Perry That hug so cute, my babies.

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth And I’ve never opened up I’ve never truly loved 'till you put your arms around me And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go […] You put your arms around me and I’m home

12×02/12×09 I Found - Amber Run *Pining bc Cas doesn’t pay attention to you because he is looking for Lucifer*

I’ll use you as a warning sign That if you talk enough sense then you’ll lose your mind And I’ll use you as a focal point So I don’t lose sight of what I want And I’ve moved further than I thought I could But I missed you more than I thought I would And I’ll use you as a warning sign That if you talk enough sense then you’ll lose your mind

12×10 Hot N Cold - Katy Perry I could have used a more serious one, but the best part of the episode is them bickering like an old married couple.

'Cause you’re hot then you’re cold You’re yes then you’re no You’re in then you’re out You’re up then you’re down You’re wrong when it’s right It’s black and it’s white We fight, we break up We kiss, we make up (You) You don’t really want to stay, no (You) But you don’t really want to go-o

12×11 - Losing your Memory - Ryan Star This is the episode where Dean gets witched into amnesia.

Call all your friends And tell them you’re never coming back Cause this is the end Pretend that you want it […] I would have died I would have loved you all my life You’re losing your memory now You’re losing your memory now You’re losing your memory now You’re losing your memory, now

12×12 In The Name of Love - Martin Garrix, Bebe Rexha “I love you.” *looks at Dean* “I love all of you"

If I told you this was only gonna hurt If I warned you that the fire’s gonna burn Would you walk in? Would you let me do it first? Do it all in the name of love Would you let me lead you even when you’re blind? In the darkness, in the middle of the night In the silence, when there’s no one by your side Would you call in the name of love? In the name of love, name of love In the name of love, name of love

12×13/12×18- I Don’t Wanna Live Forever - ZAYN, Taylor Swift *Cas keeps going after Lucifer’s child instead of paying attention to Dean*

Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you’d call It’s just a cruel existence like there’s no point hoping at all Baby, baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day Give me something, oh, but you say nothing What is happening to me? […] I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home

12×19 Thank You - Led Zeppelin This song has absolutely no relation to the episode but I KNOW Dean put it in the mixtape in hopes that Cas would do 1+1 and understand his confession, but he didn’t. And you can pry that headcanon from my COLD DEAD FINGERS.

If the sun refused to shine I would still be loving you When mountains crumble to the sea There will still be you and me Little drops of rain whisper of the pain Tears of loves lost in the days gone by My love is strong, with you there is no wrong Together we shall go until we die My, my, my inspiration is what you are to me Inspiration look, see

12×23 Slipped Away - Avril Lavigne :)))) Do not think of Dean on his knees next to Cas’ body and the burned wings.

Now you’re gone, now you’re gone There you go, there you go Somewhere I can’t bring you back Now you’re gone, now you’re gone There you go, there you go Somewhere, you’re not coming back The day you slipped away Was the day I found it won’t be the same, no The day you slipped away Was the day that I found it won’t be the same, oh

13×01/ 13×05 Dark Paradise - Lana de Rey Dean grieving Cas Pt.2 but this time he takes it like, a thousand times worse.

All my friends tell me I should move on I’m lying in the ocean, singing your song Ah, that’s how you sing it Loving you forever, can’t be wrong Even though you’re not here, won’t move on Ah, that’s how we play it And there’s no remedy for memory your face Is like a melody, it won’t leave my head Your soul is haunting me and telling me That everything is fine But I wish I was dead Every time I close my eyes It’s like a dark paradise No one compares to you I’m scared that you won’t be waiting on the other side

13×06 Better Than I Know Myself - Adam Lambert Brokebacknatural. Dean being a happy ray of sunshine now that he got his sunshine back.

Cold as ice And more bitter than a December Winter night That’s how I treated you And I know that II sometimes tend to lose my temper And I cross the line Yeah that’s the truth I know it gets hard sometimes But I could never Leave your side No matter what I say 'Cause if I wanted to go I would’ve gone by now but I really need you near me To keep my mind off the edge If I wanted to leave I would’ve left by now But you’re the only one that knows me Better than I know myself

Emm… from here I’ll be skipping many episodes because, as you know, the writers decided that Dean and Cas didn’t need to interact for anything other than talking about Jack, because it’s not like they had a profound bond or anything, right?

14×22 September - Daughtry Dean seeing what would have been of Cas if they haven’t met.

Of all the things I still remember Summer’s never looked the same The years go by and time just seems to fly But the memories remain In the middle of September we’d still play out in the rain Nothing to lose but everything to gain Reflecting now on how things could’ve been It was worth it in the end

13×23/14×02 Hymn for the Missing - Red *Reverse pinning now with Cas pinning for a Dean that’s being Michael’s vessel*

Where are you now? Are you lost? Will I find you again? Are you alone? Are you afraid? Are you searching for me? Why did you go? I had to stay Now I’m reaching for you Will you wait, will you wait? Will I see you again?

14×03/14×17 Stone - James Young This is… mostly just from 14×14 with Dean and Cas’ talk when Jack went to the bathroom bc they still never talk.

Your father came and went like the ocean’s tide And the day he left he never said goodbye […] You’ve been waiting for a miracle all your life […] So give me all your pain And love will set you free Give all your shame Put all your weight on me And I’ll be the stone you need me to be

14×18 /15×02 Bad Guy - Set it Off Look! They are talking again and- and now they are fighting. And Dean is blaming Cas for things that weren’t his fault. *sighting* Cas POV

I stole the moon I made the stars align I showed you how to fly And you made me the bad guy I fought for you I kept you safe at night I would have risked my life And you made me the bad guy

15×03 Fade - Lewis Cappaldi The DivorceTM

Well, I know that we’ve been hardly holding on To tell the truth, I can’t believe we got this far Running near on empty I wish somebody would’ve told me That I’d end up so caught up in need of your demons That I’d be lost without you leading me astray Guess that I’m a fool for the way that you caught me Girl, you make my heart break more every day But don’t fade away

15×04/15×06 - Always - Gavin James And now we are pretending you are okay with the fact Cas dumped you? Okay, let’s pretend the drinking and comfort food ain’t signals of depression

What am I supposed to do without you? Is it too late to pick the pieces up? Too soon to let them go? Do you feel damaged just like I do? Your face, it makes my body ache It won’t leave me alone And this feels like drowning Trouble sleeping Restless dreaming You’re in my head Always, always I just got scared Away, away I’d rather choke on my bad decisions Then just carry them to my grave You’re in my head Always, always, always

15×07- Feel Something - James Young I Don’t Miss My Ex, so I’ll go have a good time with my other ex- oh no his evil. Oh no I had to kill him. Oh no I came back home and Cas won’t even look at me. Damn.

Touch me someone I’m too young to feel so Numb, numb, numb, numb […] So if you’re gonna stay, then stay But if you’re gonna go Make sure that you hurt me just enough to Make me feel something, something

15×08 Habits of My Heart - James Young So now we are pretending we aren’t sending indirects to each other? Fine. And you still don’t look at me even when you heal me AND NOT TOUCH ME. FINE. And now our brothers are sending us to the time when our love was strongest? Where I spent a year praying to you and looking for you? I place that feels pure? Oh fuck.

You know I’d rather be alone, yeah But then you call me on the phone Oh the habits of my heart I can´t say no It’s ripping me apart You get too close You make it hard to let you go […] 'Cause I’d rather be alone But you fermented in my bones

(Note: You can measure my failure by the fact the word Angel was only 4 times in all this list.)

#supernatural #Destiel #dean winchester #castiel #playlist #merry christmas #:)#destiel playlist

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years ago

Text

im supposed to be working on uh literally anything else but instead i gotta get this outta my brain

tl;dr: slag is causing the Psychos to spread across the galaxy bc the Calypsos are using it to both brainwash their cultists and give them ‘special powers’. i mean, its not just slag, it’s eridian ruins/tech, too, but the Twins are utilizing slag the most. which explains the slagfalls and also the processed eridium everywhere still. im hoping sirens will help us cure this- starting with Krieg because slag/Psychos have some sort of connection to the other dimension, just like Sirens, but more messy. also this insanity from the slag/Psycho-ness is literally Mayhem and us fans are taking part in it- we’re the cult irl. plus, this game is gonna be about love and the relationships we have with the people we care about and that’s all the roses mean because i’m feeling s o f t tonight. tomorning. whatever maaaaan

“… among their fractured ramblings, it is tempting to try and find a deeper meaning…”

“[their madness] defies attempts at explanation or containment. from an isolated region of a single planet, to a nearby moon, to systems throughout every human colony, madness is catching…”

you can’t tell me this isn’t just BEGGING for us to figure it out

so, for my own sake:

i have a theory.

i kinda sorta hinted at this with my destroyer theory but i REALLY wanna go all out in this because i think this is actually something to think about… mostly because ive seen A Scene… and i wants to talk about it, vh. i wants it

now im gonna `lol` ignore everything about my lost legion eternal theory and start entirely from scratch. it’s also 1am here for my apologies if this comes across as incoherent because wow i should be asleep but fuck it i got research to do

so it all starts with psychos. i mean i guess it does. it’s gotta right? i brought in pictures it must

anyway

the guide admits that the first psychos came from Dahl’s prison colonies

the ones abandoned on pandora, now ive kinda talked about this b4 but imma talk about it again bc uhhh fuck it? why not.

so we know a lot of the bandits left on Pandora mutated because of the eridian ruins/the key. this is referenced mostly in sledge’s mine

its like world-wise called headstone mine but i never remember that. SLEDGE’S MINE

notice that line “most went crazy and many were physically mutated as well”

so i think it’s safe to say whatever they found in there started causing psychos to appear on pandora

im saying that i think eridians are the cause of Psychos across the galaxy

i have a lot more proof for this so please sit back and enjoy the ride because i think its really really cool

so lets look at hector’s logs from the newest dlc

“one of my boys found a shiny alien trinket”

“a few boys went rabid already, had to put them down”

now idk if there’s a connection here, but it’s interesting that both times, people who found these eridian artifacts started going crazy soon after

shit i mean even tannis begins to go off the wall after her and her dig team start investigating the eridian sites. although if that is because of the horrific incidents that befell her and her team or the ruins idk for certain. i’d bet its the shitty incidents tho

there’s more to this, hang on…

alright, so, lab rats? they’re pretty cool right?

we all like lab rats! personally, chase is my favorite, but adam is hilarious. that final season, huh? pretty wicked… wasn’t really a fan of the island setting but you know what, to each their own. it’s cool they actually progressed the show instead of staying stagnant. that got my respect even if it moved in a direction that wasn’t my cup of tea.

anyway Q U O T E S:

“Hyperion opened my eyes. i didn’t want it!”

“needles in my eyes!”

“don’t you look at me!”

“i can see! i don’t want to see!”

so there’s obviously something ~fucky~ going on with the lab rats and whatever it is they can see from the hyperion experimentation. we know hyperion had a hard-on for slag experimentation and you know i wouldn’t even be shocked if they were injecting these rats’ eyes with slag.

the best part is their reactions when they’re phaselocked. Unlike most enemies, the lab rats will only react to maya’s action skill, and none of the other VHs.

vs something like a marauder:

who has all these voice lines for Zer0, Axton, Sal (merc), AND Maya

the lab rats will only ever respond to being phaselocked.

and what do they say?

“i see the universe!”

“i see infinity!”

“it’s beautiful!”

(now weirdly enough i was told on the tv tropes for bl2 that the lab rats will say “I see it more!” when phaselocked by maya, but i couldn’t find a source for that. couldn’t even find it in the files i extracted from the game. i checked an online video just to double check because you know, my extraction could’ve been off, but it wasn’t there, either. even phaselocked one a bunch as maya and i couldn’t get it to proc. so, idk where that info came from, if someone could give a source/proof that would be awesomesauce.)

sooo what do other enemies say when phaselocked? usually… they just see blue. so nothing quite as interesting as infinity.

so wtf is up here?

im thinking the experiments hyperion performed on the lab rats are letting them see the dimension maya locks them in. i mean, tbh, i think they can see into that dimension whenever they open their eyes, but maybe maya’s phaselock makes sense of it for them. because they seem to be in indescribable agony outside of it

but the lab rats aren’t the only enemies that only react to being phaselocked

turns out the psychos only react to phaselocking, too

they also have some fun lines:

“I can see forever!”

“I’m home!”

“I’m inside… I’M INSIDE ME!”

with some other nonsense thrown in for fun

so idk, just taking a look at this, it’s clear the psychos and lab rats are seeing something that the other bandits just aren’t seeing. most reactions are demands to be released or that they’re flying, or just straight up confusion as to what’s happening.

is that the side effect of their exposure to slag/eridian tech? yeah, imma bet on it. their mind machines probably broke because they saw something they weren’t supposed to (possibly into the other dimension. the one maya phaselocks them in) without proper ‘protection’ and thus went batshit. like maybe sirens are protected from the craziness of the other dimension because they’re ‘chosen’ or whatever. iunno.

i do think it’s most interesting that the psychos seem familiar with whatever they’re seeing, calling it ‘home’ and well… themselves.

so why in the fuck am i talking about all this? because i think it ties straight into bl3.

let’s bring back lab rats and their experiments

you know how hyperion was supposedly injecting their eyes with slag? and it caused them to shoot those weird blue lasers out?

what happens to the destroyer’s eye in tps?

yeah we inject this bad boy with slag

“i only juice the eye with a little bit of slag at a time”

which ends up causing a singularity around the eye the second time you do it

“if this slag stuff is powering the laser, we need to force as much of it as we can back into the eye. the increased power will trip a failsafe and let us shut everything down”

oh, increased power? you mean like how Sirens get increased power from absorbing eridium? that kind of increased power?

we know in bl1 the Destroyer seemed to have something like slag in it- those glowing pockets on the tentacles that explode into purple goo

even its attacks are like purple liquid. which, you know… would be quite similar to slag (tho tbf, these attacks actually hurt instead of applying the debuff)

and boy does the destroyer not like it

“warning. space-time instability detected.” after injecting the eye with too much slag. but… why? it got too powerful? are its powers directly connected to the other dimension and by increasing it’s strength a bunch we created some sorta link between our dimension and the other one?

i mean given the other dimension allows for teleportation and shit, im not surprised there’s a space-time instability!

i mean we’ve all seen it do the eye laser thing, and the tentacles, and the purple goop. but causing space-time instabilities… that’s new isn’t it? kinda like how Sirens get new powers after they absorb a bunch of eridium???

so i wanna take a guess as to what the destroyer is

we know its ‘immortal in its own realm’ but when it’s taken an actual body that we can kill it, so odds are, it never actually died in bl1 OR tps. i imagine the Destroyer we see in bl1 is just a small fragment of it, and that it’s consciousness can be spread out across hosts. *EDIT: actually the lovely @automata-systemata-hydromata reminded me that you can find the destroyers brain in Helios. The other stuff I left in should be fine tho I thiiiink (thank you!).

and that, y’know, is cool and all, but what IS it??

Jack uses slag to give it a power boost, but it doesn’t seem to be happy about it when it happens. in fact, it even seems scared.

to be honest, all we know is that the eridians locked it away for some reason

idk im just spitballing here, but what if the Eridians were the creators of the destroyer? not intentionally, or maybe it was the result of one hell of a slag experiment/exposure to the other dimension/eridian tech, but we’ve seen what slag/exposure to eridian stuff does to humans… makes them go crazy, makes them start mutating. i mean, look at badass psychos. look at goliaths.

i mean shit even think about bloodwing. she goes wild, attacking the VHs and not listening to mordecai’s instructions despite their bond

she grows to a huge size and gains a whole shitload of new powers she didn’t have before. including fucking fire breath (which we’ve seen in burning psychos)

you know these dudes

i go into all this eridium/slag mutation stuff in SO much more detail in this post here, so if you’re interested in mutations, read this!

so what if the destroyer is just one HELL of a mutated eridian/alien and it plus all the eridium was locked away forever in the other dimension to keep this from ever happening again? because god, i wouldn’t want that to ever happen again, either, and i guess locking away the eridium (you know the stuff used in all these hyperion experiments) would be their best bet at ensuring it. also maybe just… locking away anything with eridium for that long probably isn’t the best idea… maybe that’s why it’s all tentacles and death. maybe they just locked someone away in a Vault as a prison and then leaving them with all that eridium caused them to mutate wildly out of control. kinda like the FEV.

i mean we know ‘slagged psychos’ look like this

i wouldn’t be surprised if we gave them enough slag/time they’d end up mutating even worse. and the destroyer was left in the vault for hundreds of years.

so wtf is the connection here with Sirens? there’s gotta be one, right??? is slag experimentation the first rung on the ladder of volatile science to achieving siren-hood? like you’d have slag/eridium experiments/mutations -> the lost legion eternal -> actual Sirens. maybe if sirens take in too much eridium they become something like the destroyer. now that’s fucked up to think about.

maybe it’s better the twins took lilith’s powers away from her…

oh, speaking of mutations and burning psychos and hyperion experiments, you know what we haven’t talked about yet?

Krieg.

let’s talk a whole lot about Krieg, because he is super important

krieg is important for a lot of reasons.

u know what his teaser trailer was named?

yeah i don’t think that’s coincidence one bit

ahhh Mayhem.

“deep beneath pandora, an experiment has escaped”

we know krieg is a hyperion test subject, dr samuels confirms this (and apparently contracts insanity as well at the end of the Crawmerax DLC)

also we know some other tests going on at the WEP from the quest Doctor’s Orders:

“this vault key didn’t make eridium come outta the ground for nothing, right?”

and there’s this one very very very interesting line by Tannis at the end of the quest:

“the spread of slag poisoning” yeah call it that DUMB name tannis, im gonna call it what all the kool kids are calling it: ~Mayhem~

so… Krieg.

what’s so special about him?

well… he gives us insight into what the hell is actually going on inside the heads of some psychos.

so idk about you guys but i always took this as a poke at Maya and Krieg, but i realize now that this is talking literally just about Krieg. it’s about his body holding both sides of himself.

krieg does appear to be like lucid behind the psycho controlling his body, which, idk about you guys, but for me that plants some pretty horrible mental images of all the psychos in-game who probably have similarly exasperated people behind them who are getting murdered because they can’t control themselves anymore.

and idk i wrote this whole post about how maybe the slag experimentation is turning people into hosts for the destroyer’s consciousness and that could explain all the wacked up psychos and shit. but tbh im not gonna talk about that today

just about slag experimentation/eridium exposure. we know what it ACTUALLY does and that’s mutate the hell out of things and cause insanity.

Krieg is like… the poster child for slag experimentation/eridium exposure

soooo why does slag experimentation make people go insane? could be any number of reasons, but tbh i would bet it has to do with that other dimension somehow. because eridium isn’t a normal ‘our dimension’ element. it came out of a vault. from a different dimension. and who knows the long-term effects of that shit.

i personally had a theory that the 4th dimension had something to do with time and that only Sirens are able to harness this power, but then i have no idea how to explain angel and amara’s powers through that lense, so eh. fuck it. just seeing an upper dimension would make you go crazy anyway, so let’s not bring any time shit into this because that’s just asking for trouble.

either way

i think that sirens are able to make sense of that other dimension. they have some sort of command of it/some sort of tie to it that allows them to not go crazy the instant they interact with it, unlike psychos. unlike lab rats. unlike Krieg. it’s like… eridium is our window into this other dimension or some shit and Sirens are (literally) able to process it, while it just fucks over anyone else who tries to interact. ~kachow i just introduced parallels~

and tbh i think we’re going to use Sirens to help cure this plague of insanity going around the universe. probably starting with Krieg. i mean, the only time he’s able to get even an iota of control is when he sees Maya. “Turn around pretty lady!!” like… that’s HUGE for him. and Maya’s a Siren. im not saying the power of love isn’t strong… but maybe the power of Sirens is stronger. i’d love if tannis helped us out with that. maya, too, if she really did learn more about sirens on athenas.

this all ties into borderlands 3 for 2 reasons:

1. Mayhem being both the tagline for this game and Krieg the Psycho’s DLC pack is not a coincidence

2. The calypso twins are going to be using slag to both brainwash people into becoming cultists and give them special powers

`breaks fingers` this is the real meat of this theory, all that other stuff was just getting you READY for this

let’s put the Mayhem stuff off to the side for a second and just focus on the Calypso twins.

We know they’re promising their cultists special powers and free brainwashes (lol)

we’ve seen that one concept art from the museum of mayhem with the giant slag pool

we know enemies are STILL dropping refined Eridium even though it seems like all manufacturers have stopped creating slag weaponry

and we’ve seen the slag falls in a bl3 promo material already

oh yes

okay so i said right at the very beginning of this document that i’ve seen A Scene that i wanna talk about and oh baby this is it

This Scene right here

look in the very back there

look familiar???

~it shooouuuuullld~

yeah this is it!!!

so what i think is going down: anyone who’s not already insane is sorta ‘baptized’ as their entrance into this cult in the big ol slagfall. maybe the twins have a way to induce slagged cultists so they can have elemental affinities. not sure about that.

regardless

the twins are using slag to drive people insane (turning them into psychos) as a form of brainwashing to force people to join their cult.

so that’s the special powers and the free brainwashing and the slagfalls down.

let’s talk about why exactly we’re seeing enemies drop bars of refined eridium even though hyperion stopped making them. because the twins are making it!! it makes sense why there’s no slag guns still, even if it still exists in-universe: of course no manufacturer is going to contact an insane bandit cult just to get their hands on slag for their guns.

there was a 7 year dry spell of eridium production so there was no slag to go around, so companies started phasing it out of their guns and replacing it with nuclear.

but the twins have recently started production again. they’re obviously not using it in their guns, or selling it to other manufacturers. so wtf are they using it for? it’s gotta be important, it’s holy holy holy.

special powers and brainwashing!

and the refined eridium is back in circulation, so enemies are still dropping it. see? solution acquired.

as for psycho-ness spreading across the universe? it makes sense. not only are the twins using their slag to brainwash people and turn them into psycho cultists, but people are also being mutated by the eridian ruins/vault keys/vaults on the other planets and being driven insane. This craziness is quite literally Mayhem.

Mayhem is coming, indeed!

now let us talk about what the fucccck gearbox is doing with all that Mayhem stuff in the trailers and shit.

sooo WE are the cult surrounding this game. as the fan base.

do u think it was coincidence that they made ‘ECHOnet’ Streamers the leaders of their big bad cult and then also immediately introduced, in real life, the Twitch ECHOcast extension and invited a bunch of streamers to play their demo? they knew exactly what they were doing. Giving away a free cultist psycho mask to everyone who preorders a console copy of the game? that’s intentional. everyone who preorders the game gets a ‘gold weapon skin pack’? yeah! you know what gold weapons represent in-universe? higher standing in the cult!! gearbox is making commentary on how we are all just like the cultists!

AND THEY ARE TOTALLY RIGHT

all the trailers having something to do with Mayhem? ‘Mask of Mayhem’ ‘Mural of Mayhem’ ‘We are Mayhem’ ‘Mayhem is coming’. We’re all insane cultists because we’re all absolutely fucking rabid for this game and they KNOW IT.

…

oh also we’re all in love with each other lmao.

in all seriousness, i think the game is going to focus a lot on the relationships we have with the people we care about- our found family, our romantic interests, our friendships- and that’s being expressed through the roses.

i think that’s why all the characters are shown in the roses on the cover art. why the roses are so prominent in the So Happy Together trailer. why Zane is sitting at a bar with a rose between himself and his clone (as a joke, but still, it’s the intent).

red roses are, like, the most obvious way to show your affection to someone. and we know the bl3 Vault Hunters are going to find family in each other in this game. that we’re going to watch the calypso twins’ relationship become warped as the game goes on. hell, we’re probably even going to have a whole plot about tina and mordy (and talon) and brick being a small family together, and maya and ava being one as well. plus ellie and vaughn have gotten together since commander lilith. shit, guys, even claptrap is building himself a girlfriend.

this game’s about love, guys.

anyway i have been working on this since 1:30am. it’s currently 6:06am. i am very tired and very wired and those never mesh well. im gonna go eat some motherfuckin pizza.

edit: i missed the obvious connection the first time around: of course we’re going to cure Krieg, he loves Maya. and this game is all about love.

that and/or one or both of them die and gearbox hurts us right in the softest parts of our hearts.

edit 2: also yeah at some point in the near future im writing that Hyperion-Twins theory because as much as i love Atlas, i have ~seen some things~

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #the calypso twins #krieg #im so sorry this is like 1 billion pages #but i really had fun with it #i worked on this for a very very long time so i hope its coherent enough #i sorta just go on tangents and always repeat myself when i've said similar stuff in previous posts and i feel bad #but also i can't always put in EVERY single detail when im spending 5+ hours on a post just typing all this up anyway #so instead i reference old posts #but i feel like a dumb game of telephone #anyway #im very tired #it's time for pizza

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survivormetaverse · 4 years ago

Text

Episode 13 - "I'm on the side with the biggest threats to win this game" ~Josh

This last round went well!! We got Jay out (rip Corn Tribe💔 tho fr fr it died shortly after merge probs) and I'm still in the game :D We love to see an actual numbers majority now bless 🙏🏽 I hope I go soon 😅 Ingary my beloved is suffering a bit (ty/sorry Dyl 💖) I can't see that happening though bc Colin seems to find me and Amy as his best allies and would use his idol on us so RIP me tbh, typical that the game I'd like to lose earlyish in is the one I go to FTC 😂 tho if I went with Amy and Colin I do think one of them would win (with the double agenting and chaos idle-ing and they're both p social), I'm just good at taking the information we have and planning to ensure we have the best possible outcomes at tribal (which is SO much easier now that we have a numbers majority My Gosh!!!). I love sudoku puzzles but the thing is I'm used to playing on apps or online where it's easier to play kinda methodically, also the height of my sudoku phase was like, last year where I could complete an easy one avg. 10 minutes best time 7 minutes, these two with my 10% DA took 50 minutes, so take off 10% and it's 45 minutes, divide by two and it took me 22.5 minutes per puzzle. Yeah no I don't think I'm gonna win 😂😂 oh well, thanks Raf for letting me do them tonight though, you probably wanted to get to bed but tomorrow I have work and then my driver's license exam (!!!) and then movie night so I really don't have time to 😅😅 but hey! I dont have a second part to that✨ Time isn't real so wish me luck on my driving test now retroactively so that the positive vibes flowing backward through chronos (aka "linear" time) will ensure that when you read this I will already have my license❤️. xoxo, gossip girl

honestly having more numbers done for you in a sudoku puzzle is just making me more confused

math challenges during pride month is pure homophobia

Congrats to jared for guaranteeing himself f5 for winning today 😭 and here I thought I did well with 40 minutes. I don't think he would play his idol on jodi but I don't know with this invisible round. Apparently Jodi is telling people I have the idol from phantom aka the one colin has, which is a problem if they are trying to flush it. I guess I'm a threat even though probably only dennis in the jury isn'taf at me lol. Colin has an idea to get votes on him then idol and us two vote Josh out but I really think they are going to be voting me based on how quiet it is and how many other alliances there are lol. There's the three with Josh and Jared and Colin because Josh doesn't want me at the end. See I knew he didn't like me lol. So I'm here trying to think of I need to play something or give it away and be voted out lol or just keep it and be out. My thought was to use the steal a vote so then no one would know it was me who had it but I kind of think I might need that next round of say jodi wins then jared idols. At f5 it could be me colin and jared all idoling if none of us make a move lol. Anyway I think I'm on shaky ground this go and idk why haha I'm there are much bigger threats that a no social person who flipped and wasn't even bonded with the jury lol. Here's hoping colin elle and I stay strong. And I can get second to colin. That would be fun lol but lots of game left. And I'm still at disney. This is going to be a stressful day.

I hate invisible rounds. too much is going on. and literally no one is online to talk it out personally, i want Josh out this round. I think if I wait until final 4 to cut him, he'd be bitter at me in particular. Plus, he's not in my endgame plans. I want to have an easy win, and that means putting Elle and Jared next to me in ftc. the most obvious thing to do is split between Jodi and Anastasia, and I think that's happening because it's simple and no one else is around to dispute it. Amy is still my closest ally and I can trust her, so I told her that I want to take out Josh. i don't think the two are close so it was easy to get her on board. There's an option of me ENSURING he goes by playing my idol for whoever Jared and Jodi is voting for, but I don't want to do that. so my plan is to also have Jodi vote Josh with us, so it's 3-3-1. Either Jared idols Jodi and Josh leaves, or it's a revote and Josh still leaves god I'm just so worried and nervous. If I were to get blindsided, this is the round to do it. but I don't see anyone stepping up to actually pull the trigger, except maybe Jodi. I wanna make it to the end so badly. i've been playing orgs for too damn long, I need a win. please please please let me survive this round

So I'm coming to the realization that at least 2 people on my side have idols and theres still a hidden steal a vote that Elle might have. So I'm on the side with the biggest threats to win this game so it's time to make a move. Jared said that he'll be willing to play his idol to save Jodi so that means that it's time to flush these idols out of the game. The plan is for 2 of us to vote for Colin and the other to vote either Elle or Amy. My original alliance is splitting vote between Jodi and Anastasia with me, Elle and Anastasia voting Jodi and Colin and Amy voting for Anastasia as our contingency plan. However, Jodi warned me that Colin was saying my name to her this morning so he might try to pull some snake shit. But im hopeful that Jared plays the idol for Jodi and somehow Colin doesn't play his so it'll be a tie between him and Anastasia.

So I have immunity and I have been a little inactive but its ok because Jodi has kept me up with whats going on. Jodi tells me that they are splitting the vote on me. Which is good because I am safe lol. Anyways but I talked to Colin and Amy and I wonder if they really do trust me now. I did vote with them twice. So I told them that I was scared that I was getting voted and they said they wouldnt vote me. So sweet. I also talked to Josh and all of them are saying Jodi to vote. But Jodi is getting an idol played on her Im pretty sure so unless one of them suspects that we are lying about Jared winning immunity, one of them is going home this round.

https://youtu.be/ebfzvSaWULY

Dear Colin: We do not want to vote you out. We simply want to flush your idol. I seriously hope you are still here after tonight. You know what? This round has been insane. I'm obviously on the bottom, ready to get voted out. I wanted immunity so bad. But instead of crying, I created a beautiful plan that I hope comes to fruition. Anastasia won immunity. My game move this round is multilayered. First step is to create immunity for 3 people: me, Anastasia, Jared. We told everybody that Jared had won immunity, and that he may or may not idol for me. This is perfect because if they vote for me, they'll have their votes negated, same with splitting them on Anastasia. They'll completely avoid voting for Jared to avoid their vote not being counted. Next step: flush idols. Josh approached me last night and he wanted to work with me and Jared to flush out idols from Elle, Amy, Colin. Originally before he even came to me, I had wanted to do a 2-2 on Amy and Colin and tell him it's between Elle and Amy, but he actually said that he wants to do a 1-1-1 on those 3 to guarantee either idols being flushed or we get our pick of who goes. Josh doesn't know that Anastasia is with us too, but it's sorted. Colin wants to vote out Josh here, but everybody wants to vote out me. He came to me and Jared to vote Josh, and hope that they (Colin, Amy, Josh, Elle, Anastasia) split the vote on me and Anastasia. However, since the split was (Elle, Josh, Anastasia) vote me, and (Colin, Amy) vote Anastasia, the vote split no longer works since Colin is voting for Josh and Amy wants to vote me. Essentially, it's a 4-3 Me to Josh in Colin's eyes, and he wants to get a vote thrown so that it could at least tie 3-3. Me, Jared, Anastasia have decided before even Colin and Josh approached us that we wanted to do a 2-1 on Colin and Amy or something, so the fact that Josh approached us is perfect. How are we countering advantages? 1. Idols Jared has one idol, and there's only 2 idols between Elle, Amy and Colin. By throwing votes on all 3, we either guarantee somebody flushes an idol, or we guarantee somebody gets idoled out 2. Floating advantage from hunt 5 From the wording, it's either an idol nullfier or steal a vote. I'm voting for Elle here just in case it's a steal a vote, so that at least Amy is still open for a revote in case Colin idols. (I'm hedging my bets that Elle has it not Amy) 3. Idol Nullifier In this case, I go if Colin idols, and I will just…not forgive Faffy for putting both a chaos idol and an idol nullifier in a game and those be the two ways I go. Let's just hope this isn't what hunt 5 is. The final plan should yield 2 votes Colin, 2 votes Jodi, 1 vote Josh, 1 vote Elle, 1 vote Amy. In a revote, we save Me > Josh > Elle > Amy > Colin. This vote is for the win. This will be my game winning move. Creating immunity for 3 people, flushing idols, picking who goes. Let's. Freaking Go.

So idr what I said before but Anastasia suggested to Amy that we needed to split votes and wanted to split some on me LOL so now we're putting 3 on her, possibly 4 if Josh comes online in the next 9 minutes✨ Never a smart plan for the latest addition to suggest voting off older allies, but oh well. One day we'll work together well, Anastasia 💖 one day 😂 But anyway! I really hope Colin and Amy make it to FTC, rooting for them🥳

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Jodi: Masterful plays and manipulations this round. Is getting her way. Best round of the game for her by far. The most impressive thing by far was giving three people immunity by a little lying.

Josh: The person who ratted out his side first. Made a huge move that might just save him. Taking out Colin here is perfect for him as it would give him a lot to say at FTC. He’s playing 3D chess while everyone else is playing checkers and Jodi is playing 6D chess. I think he will make it very far in this game even if people don’t necessarily want him at FTC.

Jared: Has the potential to do more. Just doing what Jodi tells him to do.

Anastasia: Playing the middle like a smooth criminal. She is letting others do her dirty work for her. She is using her ally in Jodi to have those connections outside her alliance. However, she is in danger of being seen as expendable very soon.

Colin: Is getting blindsided tonight. Power has gone to his head and has made him unable to perceive who is actually with him. Assumes people will just magically work with him. Too concerned with keeping his idol. He has become, in essence, the new Jodi.

Amy: Colin’s lackey. Has no idea what is going on and will probably continue to have no idea.

Elle: Completely out of the loop this round

So Jodi’s plan is currently to do a 2-1-1 between Colin, Amy, and Elle. Jodi, Jared, and Josh will each vote one of them. Then Anastasia will vote Colin. On the other side, Colin plans to vote Josh while Elle is voting Jodi because she’s being kept out of the loop by everyone. And Amy is at Disney World.

2 votes Colin

1 vote Josh

1 vote Elle

1 vote Amy

1 vote Jodi (nullified by Jared’s idol)

1 vote Anastasia (nullified by immunity)

#episode #episodes

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survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years ago

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Episode 11- “we will see if anyone comes out of the saloon anytime soon”-Lily

I am literally so shook LOL, I don't know what just happened but... Dan used his idol on me and I wish he would have stayed because comp queen... I am not. I KNOW I am going to be the next to go if I don't win the next immunity challenge and I just don't know which of these fakes to put my trust in. I HONESTLY went back to Landen and Lily and intend to keep it that way because I don't know what kind of fuckery just happened with everyone else. AND CHIPS IF YOU WROTE MY NAME DOWN AFTER WE PROMISED NOT TO WRITE EACH OTHERS NAMES.... jk LOL. I went from like sobbing last week to laughing this week, I am a MESS.

3 minutes later

TOUCHY SUBJECTS!! This is going to be my comp to win because I have a method with this one that NEVER fails me when I use it. To do it I just have to be INSANELY honest and then just get into the head of everyone else. I write everyone's name down that is still in the game and I figure out what each person would say for each question and then I tally it up! LOOK at me being all cocky and confident about it, watch me lose now, LOL.

1 hour later

I really hope I win this challenge so I won't join Owen and Dan in the jury anytime soon. This one is another one that I feel like Jules will do really good on, so there is that. She, Landen and Lily are the ONLY ones that have talked to me after tribal. Also did I mentioned I left the alliance chat I made with Landen and Lily then made a new one, LOL. I promise I'm only this crazy when I play Survivor, I have no chill, I'm either dead and float to the end or I'm chaotic and jump from person to person and burn bridges and play BADLY like a crazy person.

when two idols get played and you accidentally send out a frenemy lmaaaaoo ily Dan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOcx0U-XVpA

ok now on to the show

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1j3uV5Zc49fbFH4xLK-L0JQX82xsiA1dq/view?usp=sharing

dear diary, what the FUCK! i disassociate for one (1) day and everything goes bonkers.. all i can say is that i'm glad landen trusts me so much because whew.. what a messy man. but i love everything about him.. CFHGVJBKN no but for realsies this vote was CRAZY. but one of the biggest threats in this game.. at least to me just got out SOOO. i am thriving. i honestly think i'm genuinely in a really good position in this game because voting for ruthie last round secures my trust with so many people in this game.. aka autumn, lily AND while landen already trusts me so much <3 im even in more good graces with him by keeping in someone so close to him even though im still hmmm. on how close him and lily are. it's scary but.. i know he holds me dearly to him too so boom? UM! i don't know. working with jules and kevin is reassuring too.. chips and i are tight always.. the only people i don't talk to are joanna and ruthie but i don't think that will affect me in an matter. so. smiles.

HA!!! I may have had the most OTT confessionals ever last round but look who gets the last laugh?? LANDEN GETS THE LAST LAUGH! Because I was RIGHT. I knew that something was going on and something mysterious was being planned, I was utterly confused as to why this shit was happening around me, and I knew these people were off. I said They are PLAYING ME and why do I not know what's going on, there's something shady happening... And yes there was. I have to thank Kevin for making the dumbest move he could possibly make, which is to tell me and Lily. Sorry Kevin but you fucked me over twice and I'm not good with that, I'm not okay with his double dealing anymore! :) He was playing the middle and he got caught and If I want to make sure that Lily and myself continue to get through votes... That's the card I have to play. Last night I was working overtime as hard as possible to convince Chips and Autumn that they need to split the votes onto Ruthie and Dan, and to do that I was throwing Ruthie and Kevin under the bus. Oooops! Then they made it super easy by telling me the vote was on Lily which gave me the ammunition to flip things on Ruthie. Kevin might think it was just for that round, but I'm so glad, because this vote finally put me in a position of a tiny bit of power, I think. I'm still not like, RUNNING things, but I got an alliance of 5 and I think we really do have motivation to stick together, at least for now, and take Kevin and Ruthie OUT of this game. If I can just do that, that sets me up really well for the final stages of this game. I have to take out the double agents, get rid of the double dealing, set up this vote CLEAR, because I don't have an idol for protection anymore. Speaking of which... Yes I guess you could consider that a waste, but it wasn't like Lily got NO votes. I knew she would be getting 2 for sure, and I only knew for sure that Dan was getting 1. I was not going to risk Lily's life on the fluke possibility that there would be 2 or 3 Dan votes or that people would revote out Dan over Lily. No way. Lily is not only a huge shield for me in this game because of her social game, connections, and strategic prowess (she'd be more threatening than me in any FTC i think which makes people want to go for her instead of me), but she's someone who's ALWAYS going to have my back in this game. That is extremely powerful, I don't know if most people realize how powerful it is for someone to always have your back and be giving you information, that kind of relationship is necessary in Survivor and it always gives a type of power that could help me go on to win this game. And honestly, the more people think I'm playing FOR lily and that they shouldn't respect my game bc a lot of it is in the name of helping her and i BOTH get through things, they're wrong, but the better they think that bc that just helps make me seem a little less threatening and a little more like the ideal Buddy to take into Final Tribal Council! Where I hopefully have the story and the moves to wreck any opponent sans Autumn, Jules, Kevin, maaaaybe juls who all obviously cannot be allowed to make it there. :P I feel MUCH better about my spot in the game now. MARSHMALLOW MOVES BABY

INCH RESTING that only Landen, Lily and Jules have talked to me one on one since last night. They are the ones that I was most wary of last round but I rely a lot on the of the social aspect of this game and if these people are too scared to talk to me after voting for me I'm not going to feel bad if I vote for them, haha. I really have a good feeling about this challenge and I am once again praying to the survivor gods that I manage to pull out a win. I NEED this.

I hate touchy subjects, I have never won it. Also last vote was a mess, two idols were played and that is insane. I was added really late to this new alliance chat and like okay cool, but I know I'm on the bottom of that alliance and they are trying to tell me that kevin is a snake but i trust kevin and like i can't go against that alliance because they are majority and tbh i'm not 100% sure who is all IN that alliance, they just told me to vote ruthie and i did and then she didn't even go home. i have voted for ruthie twice now and ruthie has gone home zero times, i'm worried she is going to come for me, but i've just been trying to vote with majority my guys

The anxiety I feel before immunity results is UNREAL in this game, haha. I have a really strong feeling that I won this one... and I am usually wrong when I start thinking that but I just HOPE that I did, I need this to squeak by. I'm not really sure what I am going to do going forward, I feel like if I win this round I can either a) Cause a lot of ruckus and spill everyones tea when they finally decide to talk game with me or b) Have complete loyalty to Landen and Lily and just do whatever the heck they want to do to show that I AM loyal. I swear, every time I see I have a new Skype notification I refresh the blog to see if it is the results... and no luck. Yet. Okay the people in the Atomic VL really need to stop so I will stop getting notifications, LOL. HARDLY ANYONE talks in this game right before results so I just have to deal with my anxiety over the results right here in my confessional. I am also searching and I'm mad at myself for remembering to search so late bc I doubt there will be time for me to look right before tribal tomorrow. I think?? That I might be onto something. At the three broomsticks you can ask for drinks but there was an option to get a room and I'm HOPING that if I do that I will get one of those passes where I get to skedaddle before tribal. I mean, it makes sense to me but it is probably going to be NOTHING. And it was nothing and I also DID NOT win immunity, grrr. LOL. I was actually way off and I can't wait to see what everyone said for everything. OKAY at least I got the one about me being the biggest liar right.

I'm not sure if i'm making moves or if my seeds are planting... but autumn has more social ties in this game than i do right now... and landen is playing a fantastic game from what i can tell. that's dangerous to keep around. i think he has a real shot at winning. and i don't want to be a goat. but every time i have had an agenda i have fought for it, just since merge hit, everyone who has been targeted i didn't care if they went. no agenda, no feisty joanna. but i'm creating an agenda... and i think landen might be my target... sorry b, just i want me to win this thing more than i want you to but... i also think that kevin is doing wonderfully. if i have any chance at this thing, which maybe i don't, landen and kevin both need to go.

I am fine with every touchy subjects answer I got... for the MOST part. Wouldn't bring home to your family? That's fine, I'm loud, aggressive, in your face with my opinions, boldly passionate, etc etc. They had to choose someone and I totally understand why they would pick me for that. Thinks he's running the game, I mean, I think it's obvious I DON'T think that, by how paranoid and messy I was scrambling the last couple votes, but I also know I come off as very pretentious and arrogant with having information, and have been on the right side of every vote, so I understand that people would put that about me. Loudest, DUH! Host favorite and juiciest confessionals I DEFINITELY don't agree with lol, I can be very boring and rambly, and I know yall dont like me TOO much. But Biggest villain... BIGGEST VILLAIN?!?! ARE YOU FOR REAL? ARE YOU FOR REAL, GIRL, ARE WE FOR REAL?? SOMEONE LIED TO HER SEVERAL TIMES. WHERE was the villainous behavior. WHERE WAS IT?!?!? I am one of the ONLY people in this game who has sold almost NOBODY out and who has almost NEVER lied. I sold ONE person out, and that was Ruthie. Who, might I remind you, BETRAYED HUFFLEPUFF before I did that, and NEVER established a 1-on-1 alliance with me, EVER, or even a smaller alliance with me. So it was hardly even a betrayal, especially as I was fighting to SURVIVE sdkfdskf. I played an IDOL for my closest ally, I spiraled as hard as possible to change the votes for every ally who was in serious danger, and I consistently did everything I can to do the right thing in this game instead of being a cutthroat mastermind like SOME PEOPLE (Jules, Kevin, im looking at you assholes!) AND SOMEHOW IM THE VILLAIN!??! I just... LOL. Girl where? Where am I the villain of the season? I'm definitely no OTTP hero, that's Lily, but as her designated sidekick I should at least be MORM! I mean, come on! As far as Kevin winning immunity and a bunch of other good superlatives, sigh. It's very questionable and makes me sketched the hell out. I wanna push on Jules but I feel like I'm gonna have to just push on Ruthie again, and I'm pretty sure that now that I'm without the idol I'll be going home bc of the stunt I pulled last time, soooo... Yeeeah. That's that. I'll definitely push what I can tmrw tho, but for the most part I'm just gonna focus on school and my new cat collecting game, the game has been rly cute though so far and hopefully I find some way to stay.

look at me... number crunching like i can do math

I'm pretty sure that if Dan knew I just told Landen and Lily about the power he sent me- the anonymous note thing- he would break into hogwarts to yell at me. I told them merely to establish a trust with them again because staying tight with them may be my only shot to actually make it to the end.

I'm so furious Kevin won immunity, because I had the perfect shot to go for him. I'm so angry. I'm so UPSET. I'm like.... WHEW i'm mad. It's so exhausting feeling like you're on the bottom every, single, round, no matter what happens, no matter how much you do to prove your loyalty and try to find an in with people, all it does is continually push you down even worse. I get ignored all day then I get called pushy and paranoid for asking why it's happening and trying to come up with a plan, then to make it worse I get labelled as "Villain of the Season". Like.... wtf? I guess I'm a villain for daring to try and survive and protect Lily, that makes me soooo evil and such a big bad, I guess I'm a villain for selling out Ruthie who never ever made an alliance with me and turned on me first, I guess I'm a villain for turning on Kevin after he consistently lies to me all day and plays the middle just to put me on the bottom, like, that's not a real ally. A real ally does whatever they can to do what is in the best interest of themselves AND their ally. They consider what's good for eachother. Kevin and others have proven to me at basically every single turn that they just consider me an extra vote, and, let's make this clear, an extra vote they don't even like. They use me because they know I'm a loyal player, and when they backstab me they get angry that I retaliate and do what I can to further my own position. It's just like extremely mind boggling and these are the type of mind games that wear me out so much because this game just psychologically is like brutal. It wears me down a lot and I'm just trying to keep a clear head about all this and find some way to stay afloat in the game and keep bearing a smile but it's honestly really really hard and at this point I don't know how much energy I have left to keep giving every tribal 150% at the last 30 minutes just to barely survive. Especially without an idol, like i'm just.. sigh. It's a lot but I'm going to keep giving it everything i have, because if there's one thing I don't know how to do, it's give up or lay down, even when all signs point to just settling and being quiet. It's not in my blood and I gotta play this game like me even if it makes me lose. A win is not worth compromising myself for, I'll never feel good about a victory that I feel like I abandoned myself to earn.

And here we are at a stand still again. I feel like I’m in one of those old westerns but I’m out there with my gun in my holster ready to go and everybody else is at the saloon. Tumbleweeds go by and I’m like hello? Anybody there? Anyway... Landen is losing it. I’m here trying to keep hope and keeping my fingers crossed that my chills vibes get through on this holiday. So the past two tribals, despite being some of the most stressful of my whole life, have gone my way somehow. And I don’t think I’m appearing as too big of a threat at this point but what am I kidding I got votes last time. I have two alliances going which is more than I usually have. I continue to have the desire to stay hufflepuff strong despite voting for ruthie on the last vote. I also have an alliance with landen, Joanna, autumn, and chips. It’s an interesting group to say the least and I can’t say I fully trust the group. Autumn came forward as voting for dan at the last one and while I appreciate the honesty it does continue to make me weary of Autumn. I also think Dan was the one to start a vote on me and he may have been getting some traction on it but it fizzled. I hope that someone else doesn’t start to catch on to how suave I am and vote me out. I’d like to at least make it to my lucky 7 spot at this point! This vote I think the best outcome would be Jules going. I have the least amount of strategic conversation with her so that would be ideal at this point. If it’s ruthie...I don’t want to vote her but I can’t risk getting myself voted out defending her. Shout out to you Ruthie. Best of luck. And we will see if anyone comes out of the saloon anytime soon...

can't believe the entire old hufflepuff tribe (minus Max) is back in an alliance together again. I can't trust any of them as far as I can throw them but I love it. In other news, someone started a rumor that Chips told me to vote for Jules?? and he DID NOT. But he is also not talking to me right now anymore. I don't want to vote Jules, I am NOT voting Jules. Jules also said she is not voting me but idk that I can trust it or not. NO ONE is talking game right now besides me, Kevin, Lily and Landen. Chips was talking to me earlier and so were Juls and Jules but none of them really knew a name and this is just a MESS. I'm just trying not to get into any drama because I'm already branded as the biggest liar on the tribe when there are some people around here that have lied A LOT more than I have!! US TALKING GAME AND LILY RANDOMLY POPPING IN AFTER BEING MIA FOR AWHILE IN WITH- HAHAHAHAH okay edited, I cannot say what she said but I AM DEAD.. it includes the party emoji. I AM DEAD LOL, oh my god. I can't stop laughing. ANYWAY. So, Autumn says that the vote was Jules and now it is Chips?? SO BOTH SIDES ARE VOTING THE SAME? I'm so shook right now but this is good news! I feel bad because Chips and I DID have a really good conversation today but if he was the one that just stirred all this shit up he needs to go. I need a moment of peace!

well. people be lyin to me. so. anyways. im tired. THESE PPL BE DOIN!!!!! THE MOST!!!!

i’m betraying the alliance i came into merge with while trying to keep it together. how does one convince someone to vote with them while pretending they don’t know anything?

TOO MUCH INFO TOO LITTLE TIME ILL DO ANOTHER ONE AFTER TRIBAL

Tribal has been wild this round. Kevin won the challenge so he's immune. The new alliance I'm in wants to vote Jules because they are a powerhouse in all three categories - social, strategic, and challenges. Anyway, I told Jules I would tell them if I ever heard their name. I wanted to stick to that so I told them. I guess that was a mistake because they asked who from and I was already told they were working closely with Kevin so I just said Kevin. And then really shook them and I think they were shocked because Kevin is their final 2 (most likely) - anyway I didn't know what to say when they asked "From him?" because he never talks game with me. EVER. Luckily I got busy with life so I didn't have to respond... when I get back to my computer though apparently Jules has started asking why their name is being said to Landen and Lily and a conversation that I have had with Ruthie makes them suspicious that I am also telling Ruthie so the "loose lips sink ships" comes into play. Anyway, I definitely didn't actually say anything to Ruthie at all so I put that fire out. Then I try to tiptoe around the fact that I told Jules and Landen comes to the conclusion that Ruthie MUST be close with them if Jules knows because Juls might have talked to Ruthie about the vote. In the meantime our alliance comes up with a plan to throw me under the bus to Jules as well as for me to do the opposite to either Ruthie or Landen. For fear of an idol. All this drama happens and then I have to tell Jules that Kevin didn't say it and that someone else told me that Kevin had said it and they ask who... and then follow it up by telling me that Landen has been throwing me under the bus saying I'm lying and that they need to vote me. I guess our plan has started. I let Jules know that it was Landen who wanted to vote them. And then Jules comes to the conclusion that Landen is the common factor in these stories and asks if I want to vote for him. I agree because he has been trying to have me murdered and voted out all while at the same time planning to vote for Jules anyway. This plan is so eccentric and weird and nothing like I have ever done on Survivor. I felt so bad when I didn't tell Jules that they were being targeted for the vote but did not want to open this can of worms. Kind of hoping I get blindsided so I don't have to live with the guilt. But then also sort of hoping it works just because it is such a cool and fun thing we have done.

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